


Stepping Up

by lidarose13



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-21
Updated: 2004-07-21
Packaged: 2019-05-30 11:50:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 34,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15096116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lidarose13/pseuds/lidarose13
Summary: A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of theWest Wing Fanfiction Central, a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in theannouncement post.





	1. Stepping Up

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Stepping Up**

**by:** Lida Rose

**Character(s):** C.J for the most part with others  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Danny  
**Category(s):** A/U, romance   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The West Wing and its characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.  
**Summary:** Just a bit of an alternate universe  
**Author's Note:** Many thanks to LuLu and Evelyn for their efforts to beta and point out the error of my writing ways.   
This is absolutely Alternate Universe but plays off of some items in canon and things I think seem very possible and plausible. 

The next entry in my A/U series that already includes: "One Flu Over The White House","The Politics Of Poetry","The Consequences Of Poetry","Summit Time And The Lovin' Is Easy","The Scoop" 

The phone rings, beeps or buzzes in the White House on an average of a thousand times a day. 

One call can alter a career, a policy or a law. Sometimes, it changes a life. 

C.J. Cregg's Tuesday afternoon was gliding along without any unusual pitfalls. She juggled lunch at her desk, briefing notes and staff bookings for "Nightline". 

There hadn't been any big surprises and that was a surprise in itself. C.J. tapped on Gail's bowl. She told the goldfish, "If the President gets back from the Hill without a major overhaul, we both might get to sleep at a decent hour." 

She amended that with a small smile. "You'll be asleep, with any luck I'll be in bed. Then, sleep." C.J. had Danny Concannon and indecent things on her mind. 

The redheaded reporter with his tender ways was in her thoughts as she automatically grabbed her ringing phone. She vaguely noted it was the direct outside line that rang without going through the White House switchboard or Carol Fitzpatrick's desk. 

The Senior Assistant heard the ring as she was moving to the doorway with some stats C.J. wanted. The assistant watched her boss' expression go from dreamy and delighted to shocked. 

C.J. was unaware of Carol's presence. C.J. paled as she threw out rapid questions. "Are you sure? Doesn't this violate the agreement?" She listened to the responses. "I'll call you when I know the arrangements." 

Her voice rose, "I don't care. I won't let you go through this alone. We made a vow. Yeah, I love you too. Bye." 

She ended the call and reached into her center desk drawer. She pulled out a key to unlock a bottom drawer. She came back to a sitting position clutching a file folder. 

Carol cleared her throat drawing C.J.'s attention. "C.J., I have those GNP numbers." 

"Thanks, not now. Call Leo, I need to see him immediately. Then, come back and close the door. We need to talk." 

*** Leo McGarry had the papers moving from in box to out box in a steady rhythm daring any disruption to his routine. There was a bill to pass and approval numbers to boost. 

Margaret had relayed a message to him from C.J. via Carol. The Press Secretary needed to see him right away. 

The tap on the door forced him to pause from the report he was savaging to call, "Yeah." 

C.J. slipped inside and shut the door. "Leo." 

"Give me the bullet points, C.J. I've got a meeting with Josh and you've got a Briefing." 

"Right." She twisted her hands nervously but took a deep breath and plunged in. "Leo, I have to take some time off. I'm leaving this afternoon. I know it's a bad time but it can't be helped." 

It had taken a few seconds for Leo to grasp what she was saying. "You're kidding, right? This is a joke." 

"No, it's not, Leo." 

"What the hell could be so important?" 

"It's just something I need to deal with and it can't wait. You have to trust me." 

"Are you sick?" 

"No. Leo, I'm fine. I'll be back as soon as possible." 

"It's not your call, C.J. when you serve at the pleasure of the President." 

"Actually, it is. I can take a few days OR I can take a few minutes and type up my resignation." 

"You're threatening me?' 

Her voice sounded weary, "No, I'm just stating a fact." 

He softened when he saw the purpose and anguish in her face. "How are you going to staff the Briefings?" 

She accepted his acquiescence silently. After a moment she said, "Carol on the basics. Henry can do anything major. Toby can go on if the plague strikes everyone else down." 

"No Josh?" 

"Believe it or not, Toby is preferable to Josh." 

"Not by much. Make sure it's neither of them. I have enough trouble sleeping at night, C.J." 

"We all do, Leo." 

"Get it done." 

"Before I leave." 

"Get the other thing done and get back here." 

"Thank you." She turned to leave and even as she opened the door, Leo was bellowing for Margaret. 

*** C.J. was returned to her office via the reporters' cubicles. She was running through the mental list of things that had to be done before she could catch her flight. 

She rounded the corner to her office. Carol's desk was empty. C.J. figured she was probably in the Ladies' Room contemplating losing her lunch before during her first solo Briefing. 

C.J. could relate. She'd felt that way the first time she'd had that White House symbol behind her. She'd have to confess that the events of the last hour left her feeling the same way. Nerves couldn't always be tamed. 

She stifled a scream at the shadow of the man pacing by her desk. "Josh, what the hell are you doing?" 

"I should be asking you that." 

Her answer was a glare at Josh Lyman. "We are not having this conversation. I said what I needed to when I spoke to Leo. All you need to know is you're to stay out of my Press Room." 

"Toby as back up? I'm wounded you didn't pick me." 

"We all have our crosses to bear." 

"Not me. My yarmulke is enough to weigh me down." 

"I hate it when you're literal." 

"C.J., stop dancing and tell me." 

"That's not going to happen." 

Josh shut her office door and sat down. "Are you sick?" 

"No." 

"Are you in trouble?" 

"Josh, I'm fine." 

"Is it Danny?" 

"Don't go there." She headed for her desk chair and her eyes flicked to Gail. C.J. remembered Josh had helped set all this in motion by telling Danny she loved Goldfish. "No, it's not Danny." 

"Do you need a lawyer?" 

She had a tight smile on her face. "Do you know one?" 

"Yeah, me." 

"Luckily, Josh, I don't need a lawyer. You're off the hook." 

"Look I am a lawyer and I'm your friend." 

"I know that. I can't. . . Josh, it's personal." 

"If you retain me, I have to keep anything you tell me confidential." 

"You want me to pay you?" 

"I read this in a Perry Mason novel, just give me a nickel." 

"You're nuts." She saw he wasn't going to budge and sighed, "Okay." 

She dug into her center desk drawer. "All I've got is a quarter." She glanced at the coin and felt fate forcing her to trust Josh. "It's a New Hampshire quarter, that doubles the sanctity of this bond. If you squeal, I'll kill you and I'll tell the President you were disloyal to his home state." 

"Don't worry." 

*** Danny was whistling when he reached his desk in the reporter's area. It was a Tuesday evening and a little bit of paradise awaited. There was an NBA basketball game on the TV and time with C.J. Cregg on tap. He figured they'd be eating Chinese out of cartons at her place. Danny also figured he'd miss the end of the game because of his personal desire to score with C.J. 

He put the bag containing his laptop down and in the same fluid motion reached for messages on his desk. There were a few pink phone messages and a folded slip of cream-colored paper. 

The sheet was torn off a notepad. He opened it and his whistling ceased. It read, "Plans off for tonight. I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you. Later." 

It was unsigned but he knew the printing. C.J. used it when she didn't want anyone to recognize her bold scrawl. 

"Damn." Danny figured he'd get a rain check from C.J. after the last Briefing. He was disappointed but understood, it was the nature of their demanding jobs to upset plans. 

*** C.J. tried to fold her long length into the coach seat. She'd forgotten what it was like to fly this way. Air Force One spoiled you with all its amenities. She would have paid for a first class seat but there were none available. 

She put headphones on and opened a folder carefully. She wished for an undisturbed trip and no prying eyes. 


	2. Stepping Up 2

**Stepping Up**

**by:** Lida Rose

**Character(s):** C.J for the most part with others  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Danny  
**Category(s):** A/U, romance   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The West Wing and its characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.  
**Summary:** Just a bit of an alternate universe  
**Author's Note:** Many thanks to LuLu and Evelyn for their efforts to beta and point out the error of my writing ways.   
This is absolutely Alternate Universe but plays off of some items in canon and things I think seem very possible and plausible. 

The next entry in my A/U series that already includes: "One Flu Over The White House","The Politics Of Poetry","The Consequences Of Poetry","Summit Time And The Lovin' Is Easy","The Scoop" 

* * *

C.J. staggered off the plane and cursed commercial air travel for the hundredth time on this flight. She was weighted down with a garment bag, a large tote bag and her briefcase holding her purse. 

The weight of her belongings added to the emotional burden she was already carrying. 

She scanned the crowd hoping she wouldn't have to drop all this to dig out her wireless phone. 

"Claudia the camel, I presume." 

"Help me or you'll have a couple of extra lumps yourself." 

"Gimme." 

Instead, she threw the bags to the ground to throw her arms around the six foot six man in front of her. "God, I've missed hugging really tall men." 

"Not me specifically, Claudia Jean?" 

"Well, now that you mention it. Yes, Drew I've missed you." She kissed the handsome man with his warm smile. 

"Let me look at you." He stepped back a pace. "You're as lovely as ever, but you're too thin and you look too tired. 

"Andrew, you're my big brother, you've always called me scrawny." 

He grabbed the heavier bags and let his eyes twinkle. They were the same shape, color and size as C.J.'s. The family resemblance became more apparent as they began to walk towards the airport exit in the same stride. "That's because it's expected. It's okay to be a beanpole when you're a teenager tearing around without taking a break." 

"I still do that, it's just harder now that I'm past being a teenager, way past." 

"Gwen will be sorry she didn't send treats." 

"No lemon bars?" 

"No time, Claudia, however the boys sent notes." 

"How'd you manage that? I know they're brilliant but they're still in school." 

"Yes, they think they know it all at the ages of 9 and 7 but we've convinced them there's still more to grade school." 

"I can't wait to read them, I hope they're not too old or too cool for drawings." 

"I only had time to swing by school and exercise the parental prerogative of joining them for lunch in the cafeteria. Over taco salad I told them about this trip and why it was important for us to be here." 

"Nice to have that kind of open policy in the school." 

The growing number of people trying to fight their way out of the exit doors prevented further conversation. Drew led the way to short term parking. "My plane was a little early so I grabbed the rental car to save time." 

"I didn't have time to print driving directions." 

"Got a map from the car place. Lucky thing we all learned to read them." 

"Yeah, but not all of us used them. If I remember correctly, you and Daddy swore you could find your way by instinct. I work with a guy like that." 

"Hey, I was the victim of heredity. Lucky for us though that you, Mom and Collin were around to save the day." He used his head to indicate a nondescript sedan. "Over here." 

"Do you want me to drive, Drew?" 

"It's only two hours, I can give it a go for at least half." 

"Two hours and ten minutes according to this." C.J. had already unfolded the map on the hood while Drew stowed her baggage. 

"Let's get on the road before the meat of the St. Louis rush hour." 

"Okay, but you have to plan on stopping at a drive-through." 

"You're hungry?" 

"I suppose I am. But I need some coffee." 

"Claudia Jean, you're wired enough for the whole Cregg clan." 

"Just drive." 

"Jefferson City, next stop." 

*** Exactly halfway through the trip, C.J. insisted that Drew let her take over. She'd written out the rest of the directions so all he had to do was read her notes. She adjusted the seat marveling at the fact that for once she needed to move closer to the steering wheel. 

Drew had used the big brother prerogative of making their arrangements. He'd rented the car and booked the hotel room in the middle of Missouri's state capitol. She pulled out of the rest stop and eased back into traffic. She glanced over when she heard a sigh. Drew leaned back and closed his eyes. "Hey, I stayed awake for you." 

"Sorry, I was just trying to decide if I was going to give in to this headache or get through it with grit." 

"Well, Daddy used to say Creggs are full of grit." 

"Yeah and Collin would say better than being full of shit." 

C.J. allowed herself a smile. "He was the only one who could be that flip with Mom and Dad." 

"It's because he was the baby." Drew let his gaze trail out the passenger side window to look at the passing scenery. "Actually, it's because he was Collin. He could charm his way out of anything. Well, almost anything." 

Her grip tightened on the steering wheel. "I can't figure out if it's worse this way with the summons coming out of the blue or when it's scheduled." 

"I'm ashamed I wasn't keeping better track." 

"Drew, you're swamped with Gwen, the boys and the new job." She glanced at him, "Oh God, how did you manage this without any vacation time accrued? Let me help you pay for things." 

"You're my baby sister, no thanks." 

"Stupid, stubborn, macho. . ." 

"Save it for those men you butt heads with daily. Claudia, we're fine. The software business is growing faster than even my brilliant spreadsheet projections." 

"I'm glad. You don't miss being a public servant?" 

"I liked working in the County Auditor's office. But when the voters changed the man in charge, there was no place for me, that's a given." 

"They should have kept you on. No one was more honest or more loyal to the taxpayers." 

"Family trait." He shrugged and continued, "The private sector is fine and it let us stay in the same place. We didn't want to uproot the boys." 

"I can't figure out how you survive Colorado winters." 

"Claudia, we're from tough stock. Your winter blood is just in hibernation." 

"We never lived in Colorado. Ohio doesn't get that cold or snowy." She glanced at the gas gauge. "Need to fill up." 

*** Drew started the gas pump before leaving to use the rest room. C.J. leaned against the car cradling her wireless phone in her hand. Her watch indicated a Briefing was most likely underway. She punched in a number and listened for the message before leaving one of her own. "Hi, it's C.J. I figure you got my note and I just wanted to say, I'm sorry and hi and that's it." 

She ended the call before Drew retuned. He concentrated on filling the tank. 

C.J. offered, "Want something to drink?" 

"Sure, but nothing with caffeine and I better not see you with anything high test." 

The years spun away for her. Drew was the big brother and protector, the guy in charge. She stuck her tongue out at him and announced, "You're not the boss of me." 

She flounced off to the inside of the service station. Drew smiled in triumph when she came out carrying two bottles of water. 

*** C.J. helped Drew unload the bags from the trunk. He signaled a bell captain to carry them. He'd made reservations at a hotel in the center of Jefferson City. Not the biggest or the most expensive but it boasted connecting rooms, interior hallways and an indoor pool. She looked around the lobby with mild interest. 

She watched Drew pull out his wallet at the front desk and extract a card from it. "Here's my triple A card for the discount." 

Reality jolted her. C.J. rarely worried about reservations, rates or discounts. Traveling as part of the Presidential entourage could make you forget the real world of household budgets. 

They followed the bellman to the elevator. Drew glanced at her, "Hungry?" 

"Let's get settled first. I packed quickly and I need to see if I forgot anything." 

The bellman unlocked the doors and made sure the connecting door worked. He checked TVs and brought in the bags. C.J. had money out and tipped him generously before Drew could reach his wallet. The door closed on Drew's stern, "Claudia." 

"Shut up. We'll split the room and I want to pay for the car." 

"It's not necessary." 

"Flying out with no notice on an open ticket is pricey for a family man. I still remember that about the real world." 

"Sis, that's why you have an emergency fund." 

"Oh God. I haven't heard that term since Daddy lectured me on my budget." Her eyes glittered with a sudden sheen of tears, "Collin said live for today." 

"Yeah, but without Dad and Mom's admonitions, it wouldn't be possible for me to face this emergency on Collin's behalf." 

"I need to unpack." 

"Sure. Claudia Jean, let me know if we have to shop for you or just go to dinner." 

*** C.J. had the essentials of clothing packed. But when she'd switched out her bags, she'd forgotten part of her toiletries. She'd have to make do. She didn't want to be out in public any more than necessary to avoid being recognized. 

She dug into her tote bag for one more item. It went on the bed next to her alongside the file folders stacked there. The folders would wait a little longer. Unpacking chores done, she moved gracefully to the connecting door and tapped. She opened it on Drew's, "Come in." 

He was on the phone after changing into jeans and a polo shirt. "Here she is, Honey." 

Drew handed C.J. the phone and watched a smile brighten her face when she heard Gwen's voice. His wife and his sister had meshed from their first meeting. C.J.'s half of the conversation started with, "If it was a choice between my brother and your lemon bars, I think you know my vote." 

They touched on inconsequential topics. Drew wished the boys had been home from soccer practice. He moved to dig out their notes for their aunt while C.J. wrapped up her chat with Gwen. "Yeah, I'll tell him you'll call later when you have my nephews home." 

She glanced at Drew, "Thank you, Gwen. I know it's tough for you to deal with everything on your own but I can't imagine facing this without Drew." 

He heard a catch in C.J.'s voice. "I love you too, bye." 

Tears dripped from her eyes when he gave her hastily scribbled offerings from 9-year-old Kyle and 7-year-old Steve. Drew made a quick decision. "Let's get take out. Chinese or pizza?" 

"Hot and Sour Soup will be fine." 

"Claudia Jean, that's not enough." 

"I don't know if I can eat." 

"I'll get an extra egg roll." 

*** To please her brother, C.J. choked down an egg roll with the soup. The warm food and chatter about family past and present offered momentary comfort. 

She kissed her brother on the cheek when she told him good night. It felt good to have him within arm's reach for leaning on if necessary. For now though, she was alone in her hotel room. 

There were too many hotel rooms in her life even if it brought her the career she wanted. But this time it was different and added to her loneliness. C.J. shook off that thought by reaching for her phone. She had someone to assuage the emptiness. She hugged the phone waiting for the connection to go through. 

She grabbed for the jointed Teddy Bear with plush as read as an Irish man's hair. Her hand brushed over the file folder as she cuddled Danny's gift from a short time ago closer to her. She ignored the ugliness of the folder. Then, she heard Danny's voice. 

It was his answering machine as she expected. However suddenly she was overcome by the desire to hear his voice live as he answered her questions and talked about his day. She left a short generic message ending it with a sigh. She put the phone in its charger and got up to lay out the next day's clothes. She settled on a navy suit with a light blue silk blouse. 

There was nothing left to take up her time. She couldn't put off opening the file any longer but clutching a Teddy Bear made it easier. 

*** Danny had received C.J.'s note and digested it without much thought. He figured something concerning her work cancelled their plans. However, he got a shock when Carol nervously handled the next Briefing. There was an undercurrent of curious mumblings about C.J.'s whereabouts. Carol had tossed out a comment at the top of the Briefing about C.J. being unavailable. 

The assistant to the Press Secretary handled herself and the questions well. As the Senior White House Correspondent, Danny felt it was his duty to congratulate Carol personally. 

She accepted the words with grateful thanks. But her manner turned from warm to wary when he asked what was up with C.J. Carol tried to excuse herself sending Danny's radar to another level. He quickly asked if C.J. was sick. Carol said that C.J. seemed fine the last time she saw her. It didn't reassure Danny but Carol wouldn't say anything else or submit to Danny's questions. 

That sent him on a trolling mission in the West Wing. There was no sign of C.J. in her office or in the Communications' area. Danny called over to Josh's office and asked to see him. 

After a long interval on hold, Donna Moss informed Danny that her boss couldn't see him. Danny asked her to tell Josh the drinks were on him. Donna relayed another extremely polite turndown. 

Danny worked his way back to his office and automatically checked his wireless phone. He slumped at his desk while zipping through the messages that accumulated when the phone was turned off during Briefings and inside the West Wing. 

They were all mundane except for one. He recognized the number on the caller ID. Danny heard C.J.'s voice, "Hi, it's C.J. I figure you got my note and I just wanted to say I'm sorry and hi and that's it." 

Carol came in for the day's final Briefing and Danny wanted it over so he could find out what was going on with C.J. She'd sounded nervous with a touch of sadness in her voice. 

*** Danny hurried through the apartment building hallway. He knocked on the door firmly not sure what was going on or what he'd find. But he got no answer. His hand fisted in frustration and pounded on the door one more time. He leaned his head on the doorjamb and whispered, "C.J." 

He pulled out his phone and prepared to punch in her number. He vowed to call everyone he knew in the West Wing to find out what was going on if he couldn't reach her. 

Before he could hit #16 as in 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, the door across the hall from C.J.'s place opened. A slight, elderly lady peered out, "I thought I heard someone out here." 

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Ellert. I was looking for C.J." 

"I figured you knew she wasn't here." 

"She's gone?" 

"Yep. Saw her this afternoon. She asked me to grab her mail and hold on to it." 

"She left in a hurry." 

"Absolutely, C.J. was worried about getting packed. She said something about switching from official luggage to every day bags." 

"Mrs. Ellert, it's very important. Did she leave a number or say where she was going?" 

"No, son. I'm to call Carol if there are any problems." 

"Sorry, I don't want to put you in an awkward position." 

C.J.'s neighbor squeezed Danny's hand. "I'm sure you'll hear from her or you'll figure something out." 

"I'm just worried." 

"You should be." 

His head jerked up, "I should?" 

"I meant I can see that's the kind of man you are, you're both good people." 

Danny kissed the elderly woman on the cheek. Her skin was lined but soft and smelled of some classic perfume like White Shoulders. "Thank you." 

"Still, she did look sad." 

He left with those words ringing in his head and the certainty C.J. didn't want to be found. Whatever she was facing, she wanted to do it without Danny's support. 


	3. Stepping Up 3

**Stepping Up**

**by:** Lida Rose

**Character(s):** C.J for the most part with others  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Danny  
**Category(s):** A/U, romance   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The West Wing and its characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.  
**Summary:** Just a bit of an alternate universe  
**Author's Note:** Many thanks to LuLu and Evelyn for their efforts to beta and point out the error of my writing ways.   
This is absolutely Alternate Universe but plays off of some items in canon and things I think seem very possible and plausible. 

The next entry in my A/U series that already includes: "One Flu Over The White House","The Politics Of Poetry","The Consequences Of Poetry","Summit Time And The Lovin' Is Easy","The Scoop" 

* * *

Andrew Cregg glanced skyward trying to be cheered by the mild Wednesday morning weather. It was pleasant by early March standards for Missouri. For a Colorado resident, Drew admitted it was nearly tropical. 

His sister came out the hotel door with her briefcase and purse. She'd cinched her trench coat tightly. "Aren't you freezing?" 

"I'd just decided it was warm, Claudia. Want me to take your bag?" 

"I'm fine. Let's get going." 

"The car is on the way and then you can tell me what's on your mind." 

*** Drew waited until they were on the road to prod C.J. She had been mostly quiet during breakfast. When she did talk it was about safe, neutral topics. He could see she'd slept poorly. 

He'd asked if she'd gotten in a workout. She confessed that she hadn't brought workout gear. "I forgot to switch it from my other bags." 

"What other bags?" 

"My official work luggage. I didn't want to use that, the luggage tags and markings make it conspicuous." 

"So you're also staying incognito in public places." 

"You make it sound silly, Drew." 

"I'm sure you have your reasons." 

"We can't have any appearance of favoritism. This can't be about the Bartlet White House." 

"You mean it can't be about you and the Bartlet White House." 

"It has to be about Collin and what's fair." 

Drew let that be her last word as he maneuvered into a parking place. "Out and prepare for a search." 

"Yeah and I'm the one with the load." She held up her briefcase and purse to illustrate her point. 

"Hey, I'm willing to take the briefcase but the purse clashes with my suit." 

"Shut up, moron." 

*** They were in a hallway furnished with a few chairs and conference rooms running off of it. The main chamber at the end of the hall had a wood paneled door with a state seal for the Department of Corrections on it. 

C.J. was flipping through a Readers' Digest on the lone table next to a bedraggled silk plant. She double-checked the date and closed the magazine. She stretched her arms, "I thought for a second I read this one the last time we were here." 

"Close but no cigar. Guess there are other places to spend money." He stared at the door, "You forget how slowly time moves on this side of the door." 

She glanced at her watch. "It's about mid morning break time. I need to get some air." 

"Don't forget your phone, Claudia Jean." 

"Huh?" 

"Go ahead and check in. I'll even watch your purse. It'll make it quicker for you to get back through security." 

That earned Drew a kiss on the cheek. "Gwen has you well trained. Coffee, soft drink or water?" 

"Nothing thanks. Wait, just gum. Settles my nerves." 

"You, nervous? Nobody could tell." 

"Part of my charm. Want money?" 

"Now, that makes you charming and well trained by your wife. I'm fine." 

*** C.J. paced in front of the building while dialing. She reached Ginger who informed her that she was staffing Carol's desk while Carol was in the gaggle. C.J. got the assurance that everything was in fine shape. 

She thanked Ginger and took a deep breath before hitting speed dial for Danny. He was #4 for the 4th row in the Press Room, the Pulitzer Prize winning row. 

She listened to his message and responded with one of her own. "Glad you haven't sent Carol screaming from the podium. Have a good day, sorry -- how lame. I just wanted to hear your voice. You know what, I'll get the Post and check out your story. You better be accurate." 

*** C.J. found a newsstand and stocked up. She got the Jefferson City News Tribune, the St. Louis Times Dispatch, USA Today, the New York Times and the Washington Post. She bought Drew every kind of gum available. 

The well-filled paper bag made her smile. If nothing else, he would have treats to take home to the boys. At ages 9 and 7, C.J. knew her nephews still expected to be showered with presents when a parent came back from a trip. 

She tried to keep Kyle and Steve well supplied with items from her trips including post cards, magnets and the occasional kitschy snow globe. Her smile widened as she made a mental note to check the hotel gift shop for trinkets. 

She swallowed the smile and nearly dropped everything when she neared the steps of the building. An older couple waited for her. She recognized the Grubers from the trial. C.J. nodded at them, praying they'd let her pass. 

"Hello, Miss Cregg." 

"Mrs. Gruber." C.J. felt a hand on her arm and resisted the impulse to shake it off. "I need to get inside." 

"My husband and I pray for your brother every day. We believe he's in a better place." 

C.J. snapped, "Better place? Better than with the family that loved him? Better than doing the work he loved and making a difference in people's lives?" 

The woman cowered under C.J.'s words and pulled her hand away. "We pray for his family too. You know we're so sorry." 

"You've said that before." C.J. suddenly felt very drained and knew her day was nowhere near over. 

She heard a masculine throat clear. "Miss Cregg, we'd give anything to bring your brother back. We can't but we do think our son is a changed person. He's trying to make amends." 

"Excuse me, I have to go." C.J. fled into the building clutching the newspapers and the bag of gum. Her heart pounded so loudly she couldn't hear anything else. 

She nearly ran down the security guard at the metal detector. His insistent and loud, "Hey, lady. You need to go through security," startled her back to reality. 

*** Drew stared at his watch and began to worry about his kid sister. He was stuck in the chair unless he wanted to gather up her brief case and purse to go looking for her. He pictured himself striding around with Claudia Jean's purse and realized Collin would have loved that scenario. It was Drew's turn to have a smile fade when he saw a shaken C.J. come around the corner. 

She dropped into the seat next to him and silently searched for his hand. Her fingers were ice cold. "Sis, what's wrong?" 

"The Grubers were outside." 

His grip tightened on her hand. "What did they say to you?" 

"They know Collin is in a better place and their son is a changed person." She managed a small laugh, "They pray for us too." 

"Take a deep breath. You have to know where they're coming from, but I get why you're upset. I am too." 

"I unloaded on them after all their piety. Even if it's sincere, it stings." 

"Okay, resume breathing air, not fire." He looked around. "I'm sure they won't come near us again." 

"That wouldn't be a wise move." 

"I got the word we'll go in after lunch. We'll just stay put for now. No one scares us away from our duty." 

C.J. leaned her head on his shoulder. "You are a comfort, I feel better." 

"So hand over the something to read." 

"I got the News Tribune from here, the St. Louis Times Dispatch, USA Today, the New York Times and the Post." She glanced at Drew, "I should have asked if they had your local paper or any of the Colorado papers." 

"Don't worry about it. I figure I've got five crossword puzzles to keep me busy after I read the headlines, sports and technology." 

"You know, I never get to do the puzzles. I like to keep sharp." 

"Reading at least five papers should help. What's in the bag?" 

"Gum." She handed him the bag and watched boyish delight blossom on his face. "Now, don't chew it all at once or you'll explode or something like that." 

"I bet I'm supposed to share it with the boys." 

"You're old enough to make your own choices." 

"Whoa, channeling Mom." 

"Hey, genetics can't be overcome." 

Drew noticed she was relaxing. He took the Jefferson City paper from her and started to scan. 

He noticed C.J. just staring at the front page of the Washington Post. He watched her run her fingers lightly over a story and then stroke one spot. It seemed to calm her down more so Drew kept silent. 

But it made him curious and he planned to sneak a look at that particular section of the paper. 

*** C.J. was engrossed in digesting the newspapers with a marker in her hand. She highlighted articles she wanted to save. Security prevented her from carrying scissors forcing her to search her mind for a suitable substitute. 

Her thoughts and Drew's contemplation of crossword puzzle clues were derailed when a short, dark haired man exploded into the hallway. 

"Good you're here. Ms. Cregg, Mr. Cregg, come with me." He paused, "I don't know if you remember me -- I'm Alfio Monaco." 

"Of course we remember you, Mr. Monaco." 

"Please, call me Alfio or Al, Ms. Cregg. I have a side conference room set aside for us. We have things to talk about before we go into the hearing." 

Drew helped C.J. gather everything up and followed the man who prosecuted Collin's case toward a small anteroom. 

*** Alfio Monaco commanded respect despite his short stature. He'd made a list of goals in high school and was working his way through them methodically. He was now the District Attorney for Callaway County. 

However, when Monaco first met the family of Collin James Cregg it was as a new assistant prosecutor. He'd never forgotten them or the case, which had launched him into the courthouse spotlight. 

He owed the Creggs for that and he owed the cause of justice. He ushered C.J. and Drew into a small room. He closed the door. "We can talk and then you can wait here without anyone getting in your face." 

"The Grubers already spoke to my sister when she was coming back inside." 

"I'm sorry about that. Legally, I can't stop them from talking to you on a public street." 

"That doesn't lessen Claudia's agony." 

"I realize that." 

"Drew, I have a voice and I'll use it. The first thing, Mr. Monaco . . ." 

". . .Alfio or Al." 

"Whatever." She took a deep breath, "Okay, Al. Let's start with this." 

C.J. pulled open her bag and slid out a folder. "Chapter 595 of the revised Missouri statute, section 595.209 part 7-d requires that victims get thirty days advance notice of any scheduled parole hearing. We got, let me look at my watch, less than 36 hours notice." 

Drew eyed a now uncomfortable Monaco. 

The Callaway County D.A. drew a breath, "C.J., Ms. Cregg, you and your brother have my deepest apologies." 

"We'd prefer an explanation." 

"I screwed up and so did my office. My assistant is on medical leave. I've had a series of temps who didn't handle mail efficiently. I was on vacation and at a conference. The notice was buried on my desk until yesterday." 

"We should have been notified separately from your office and by the state." 

"I agree, Ms. Cregg, and I checked on that." Monaco hated to continue but pushed on. "You've both moved in the last five years and there was trouble getting mail to the correct address." 

"Yeah, my sister is really difficult to track down." 

"Again, all I can do is apologize and thank you for making sure you were here. I had to do some rearranging of my own. 

"We wouldn't miss this." Drew gestured for Monaco to sit down. "What can we expect?' 

*** C.J. pushed aside the remnants of a salad she hadn't really wanted to study the notes she'd taken during the briefing from the Callaway County Prosecutor. 

Drew came back in after a quick trip outside to stretch his legs. He hoped the half sandwich he'd forced down didn't come back up on him. 

"Claudia Jean, according to the guard we're now pushed to midafternoon." 

"Figures. More time to worry." 

"Alfio wants to know which of us will speak. You know, it's not fair for only one person to speak on the record." 

"We can't change that at this point, Drew. That means you have to be sure to make your remarks strong enough for both of us. Actually, for ALL the Creggs." 

"Me?' 

"Yeah." 

"Me?" 

"I don't feel comfortable speaking publicly." 

"Well, okay then." Drew nodded, "I can see that, I mean you just spend most of your days in front of a screaming horde of reporters, bright lights, live cameras and microphones. You have your own White House Briefing groupies with chat rooms. Yeah, I've noticed how uncomfortable you are in front of a microphone." 

"That's different and what are you doing in chat rooms?" 

"I'm not. I just hear things. You're considered hot Claudia." 

"Good Lord." 

"Hey, imagine how tough it is for me. I can still see you running around without a diaper on or with braces and skinned knees or crying when some junior high jerk stood you up for a dance." 

"I can still see his black eye and bloody nose after he came across my brothers the next week." She caught his gaze and held it. "Well, I survived all that, sounds like better than you. I've survived worse with your help. I can talk because it's my job." 

"It's your life." 

She couldn't disagree with Drew. It has been nearly her whole existence. C.J. knew she'd neglected her family, friends and her inner self. Her involvement with Danny was a giant step towards remedying that by finding some balance. 

She offered her older brother a smile, "I'm trying to be better about that." 

"But I still have to talk to the Parole Board." 

"These seven people can't be distracted by my public persona. It has to be about Collin and the crime. Do you need my notes or to look at the clippings?" 

"No." Drew reached inside his suit jacket and pulled out several folded sheets of paper. "I wanted to be ready for anything. I made my notes while I waited for your flight to arrive." 

"You'll do the best job." 

"I doubt that, you and Collin always handled the limelight better." 

"That's why you're the perfect choice now, the quiet man finally speaks. It carries more impact." 

"Can't decide if you're sincere or just making sure I carry the family banner." 

"This time it's sincerity and I'll be right there." 

"Okay, now shut up and let me compose myself." 

"I need scissors." 

"Claudia Jean, just because I told you to shut up you want to go psycho on me?" 

"For these clippings." 

"You were a National Merit Scholar, be creative." 

She rolled her eyes at him. "Your poor boys, subject to those clichés." 

"Carping at me doesn't solve your dilemma." 

She started searching her bag. "I could ask for a ruler. Or . . .ta-dah." 

She pulled out a reporter's notebook. She'd conned it out of Danny. The cardboard cover was stiff enough to use as a straight edge. 

"You probably would have invented sliced bread if it hadn't already been around." 

"Maybe I'll still ask for the ruler to shove it up my big brother's . . ." 

"Claudia Jean." 

*** Danny closed his notebook tired of listening to Henry drone on in the Briefing. He'd taken over after Carol's opening remarks because there of some State Department issued travel alerts in the Middle East. 

But Carol ended up stepping in midway through when he fumbled the answer to a question on the possible evacuation of Americans. Danny noticed that as she closed the Briefing she let Henry come forward for the post Briefing questions from some of the reporters. 

The Senior White House correspondent quietly eased out of his fourth row seat and followed Carol out. He caught up with her outside C.J.'s office. "Another point for you, Carol." 

"Thank you, Danny. It felt good to save the day." 

"I'd say, officially save it. I'm certain you save it behind the scenes for C.J. all the time." 

"Just doing my job. C.J.'s an appreciative boss." 

"I'll bet she's glad you could fill in for her so well." He paused and forced himself to sound casual. "Have you heard when C.J. will be back?" 

Carol wasn't fooled by his nonchalance. She wanted to tell him where C.J. was, why she was there and how she was doing. But Carol's first loyalty lay with C.J., her boss and her friend. 

She matched Danny's breezy tone. "Why Danny, am I already being pushed out? C.J. hasn't hit the panic button about my work. She's up to date." 

The phone rang on Carol's desk and she used it as her escape. "Danny, please excuse me." 

He turned to go but nearly whirled back around when he heard Carol say, "Uh, yeah. Hi. I'll need a minute to get things together. I was talking to a reporter." 

Danny knew for sure it was C.J. when he heard Carol say in formal tones, "Yes, that's correct." 

*** C.J. flinched at the other end of the phone knowing Danny was there, in the crazy place that was her touchstone these days. 

She closed her eyes and imagined touching Danny while Carol prattled on about the day's events. C.J. willed her attention back to work matters and ended the call by telling Carol to keep up the fine work. 

Her brother watched her with eyes that tried to see below the surface. He kept his questions to himself as he saw the conference room door opening. Drew promised himself he'd get the real story from C.J. on what was going on in her life. 

He had to be an effective protector to one of his siblings. He'd look after Claudia Jean because he hadn't been able to look after Collin. 

*** Alfio Monaco re-entered the conference room prepped and ready to do battle. Keeping this parole from happening was not just his duty but part of his plan to move from Callaway County to national attention. 

He'd moved from A.D.A to D.A. His conviction rate was good. His staff disposed of cases faster than any other Missouri county. They'd been named "rocket docket" two years running. 

Monaco figured one more term and then he could jump to a seat in Congress. 

It wouldn't hurt to keep the sitting President's Press Secretary happy or at least impressed. He cleared his throat. "Ms. Cregg, let me tell you what's coming. It hasn't changed much since the last time you attended a parole hearing." 

C.J. shot Drew a knowing glance inwardly amused that Alfio focused solely on her. She was aware of Monaco's political aspirations but vowed to push that aside for the present. "My brother and I appreciate you handling this personally once you realized the magnitude of the initial notification screw up." 

Drew resisted the impulse to laugh. Monaco looked pleased and then puzzled. Drew had always admired the ability of his siblings to level people with a combination of sweetness and sass. 

The District Attorney regrouped. "There are seven full time board members. You'll be sitting in the chairs behind the tables. It'll be a lot like the trial set up." 

He glanced up to see a guard outside the door. The uniformed man gave a five minute sign. 

Monaco nodded and continued, "I'll recount the details of the crime. I have the photos and evidence list. After that, they present their argument for parole. We'll make our case after that. That'll be your chance to speak." 

The prosecutor addressed the last statement to C.J. She took a second to put down her pen to deliver her words with impact. "Mr. Monaco, my brother Drew will be speaking for the family." 

"I figured you'd take the lead, C.J. I mean, Ms. Cregg." 

"No, it'll be my brother." 

Drew weighed in, "You see, my sister and I don't want this to be about anyone other than Collin." 

"Let's get in there and make that happen." Monaco rose to do battle. 

*** C.J. had her notebook and a pen out. She wasn't sure why but it made her feel a little more in control. The room was an average government meeting room but the decisions made here were anything but typical. 

The panel was in place. A mixture of men and women of several races held sway over continued punishment for criminals. 

Drew noticed the Grubers sitting to the side. They were staring at an inner door. It opened with a guard leading the way, followed by a man in a suit with a briefcase. Drew instinctively grasped C.J.'s hand when a young man shuffled into the room. 

He wore khaki pants and a short-sleeved dress shirt. Shackles hampered his gait, his hands were also bound with chains. 

The Parole Board Chairman nodded for the guard to undo the prisoner's hands. The head of the commission called to order the parole hearing of "Scott Owen also known as Scott Owen Gruber." 


	4. Stepping Up 4

**Stepping Up**

**by:** Lida Rose

**Character(s):** C.J for the most part with others  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Danny  
**Category(s):** A/U, romance   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The West Wing and its characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.  
**Summary:** Just a bit of an alternate universe  
**Author's Note:** Many thanks to LuLu and Evelyn for their efforts to beta and point out the error of my writing ways.   
This is absolutely Alternate Universe but plays off of some items in canon and things I think seem very possible and plausible. 

The next entry in my A/U series that already includes: "One Flu Over The White House","The Politics Of Poetry","The Consequences Of Poetry","Summit Time And The Lovin' Is Easy","The Scoop" 

* * *

Alfio Monaco offered a nod to C.J. and Drew Cregg before he started speaking. The District Attorney told the panel he was going to describe the details of the crime. 

C.J. forced herself to stay focused as Monaco stated the simple facts. Collin James Cregg died at the age of 24 while working at a free legal clinic thirteen years ago. 

He was attacked, bludgeoned and stabbed by Scott Owen Gruber also known as Scott Owen. The killer worked at the legal clinic as a janitor. It was a work release job after Gruber had come up against the law for intimidation, assault and drunk driving. 

Monaco reminded the parole board that Gruber used the name Scott Owen when he joined a local chapter of a Neo Nazi group. His initiation was supposed to be the roughing up of someone in the undesirable class. His original target was an African American woman working at the legal clinic as an assistant. 

Collin Cregg had interrupted that attempted crime. He came to the aid of the coworker by distracting Gruber and ended up as Gruber's target. The killer thought he'd get two victims but the woman ran away to get help. When she came back with the police the doors were open and the office empty. 

Collin's body was found in a vacant lot next door. Before he'd been murdered he was tortured. He'd been kicked, a brick used to crush his skull and finally stabbed. 

The murderer was found hiding in the closet of his mother's sewing room. He was just past his 18th birthday and convicted at age 19 of first-degree murder. The case against Gruber included eyewitness testimony and fingerprints on a knife. The most damaging evidence was the matching of the imprint of his steel-toed work boots to some of the wounds on Collin's head. 

Monaco paused to let all this horror sink in before finishing. "The jury declined to give this killer the death penalty, instead voting for a life sentence. I am here to ask you to uphold and honor that decision." 

He'd punctuated his narrative by placing crime scene photos in front of each member of the panel. 

The Callaway County District Attorney was effective. Drew swallowed his own horror and sorrow to study the faces before him. Their eyes were drawn to the photos including one of the defendant giving a defiant Nazi salute to reporters, his head a gleaming dome. 

The Chair of the Parole Commission searched for his gavel. When he called for a short recess, his voice shook. 

*** On the break, C.J. and Drew adjourned to the conference room. The room felt stale and stifling. She looked at her watch and announced, "I need some air." 

Her older brother nodded in agreement. He told Monaco, "We'll be back before it starts up again." 

Once outside they took deep, cleansing breaths. Drew tugged C.J. by the arm. "Let's go around the block. I have to keep moving." 

"I wish this was the worst of it. We still have to listen to the case for his parole." 

The prospect silenced them for a thousand feet. Drew turned to her, "Claudia, do you believe people can change?" 

"You read my mind." 

"Another scary thought. Well?" 

"Yes, I do. I think it's rare but I think some people do change and deserve redemption. I don't want to think that's possible in this case because of how Collin died and all the pain we've carried. But it's years later and I guess we have to keep an open mind." 

"If he's changed, we have a dilemma." 

"Supporting parole would put a crimp in the D.A.'s future political plans. He'd hate to have one of his best known convictions end in a parole." 

"Yeah and there's Collin. If he were here and saw a turnaround, he'd be all for giving Gruber another chance, for giving him freedom." 

"But Collin's not here. We have to be his guardians, Drew. We speak and act for him." 

*** The Cregg siblings settled back into their seats to watch Owen's attorney take his crack at earning his client parole. 

He started by introducing himself, "I'm Lee Michaels. I know we've met before but I want everything clear and on the record." 

The lawyer paused to pick up all the pictures Monaco had spread out. "These horrible images are part of Scott Owen Gruber also known as Scott Owen's past. He is a different young man today." 

Michaels painted his client as a troubled, confused teen seeking strength through the people he met. Gruber drifted to Neo Nazis and was made to feel important. Michaels claimed his client needed that because his minor scrapes with the law cut him off from his childhood friends. 

The janitorial job at the legal clinic was a positive step until something went terribly wrong. 

Once again, C.J. and Drew listened to the defense attorney spin Collin's murder to look better for his client with his choice of words. To the defense, Collin brought it on himself by interfering when Gruber was being a little too aggressive in his attentions to a black woman. 

Gruber was jealous of anyone getting ahead of him in the world especially someone of color. He just wanted to scare her to feel powerful. 

Collin upped the ante by stepping between Owen and the woman. The defense lawyer reiterated the argument from the trial, "Collin Cregg was gay and when he threw himself in my client's face, it scared a confused teenager. When Collin offered himself as a target and called Scott, I'm quoting, 'A chicken shit', my client had no choice but to defend himself." 

C.J. heard Drew take a quick sharp breath. She laid her hand on his to remind them both to keep quiet and stay strong. 

Michaels continued telling the board that Scott was scared of getting AIDS. Collin pushed him and the janitor felt contaminated. He only killed in a rage to avenge that touch. 

The attorney reminded the Parole panel that a jury declined to give the death penalty in this first-degree murder case. His conclusion was they obviously thought the murderer was young enough to change and now that had happened. 

He promised they'd hear about that from the prisoner himself. Michaels glanced at C.J. and Drew for his final line. "I'm certain even the victim's family will see that good can come out of an awful mistake." 

The Parole Board chairman thanked Michaels and adjourned the session for the day. 

Alfio Monaco shepherded the Creggs to the conference room saying, "Come directly here tomorrow morning and keep your heads up like you did today. You being here carries weight and keeps Collin alive." 

Drew nodded and asked, "Is there a back way out of here so we don't run into the Grubers or that shyster lawyer? I'd hate to get busted for punching him out." 

C.J. felt a small laugh bubble up and felt a little better. "I'd spend everything I have to bail you out." 

Monaco added, "I'd take a leave from the prosecutors' office to defend you." 

*** The hotel lobby bustled with people returning from meetings, seminars and government business. C.J. and Drew matched the crowd in terms of dress in their business suits. But their demeanor differed. They looked as if they'd climbed a mountain without hiking boots. 

C.J. touched Drew on the arm. They'd been silent during the drive back. "Let's change, I need a shower. Then, pick a place for dinner, something you wouldn't get at home." 

He nodded and then thought of a snag. "Change as in dressed up again or real people clothes?" 

"A pair of jeans please. I can't face another hour in these pumps." 

"Me neither." His comment netted him the intended laugh from C.J. 

They started toward the elevator but a desk clerk hurried over. "Mr. Cregg, a package arrived for you." 

"For me? I wasn't expecting anything." 

"You'll need to sign for it, sir." 

C.J. felt a prickle of fear. "Be careful, Drew. It might be from someone sympathetic to Owen or the Grubers." 

"Yeah, but we're pretty far under the radar." He gave her a small smile. "I know, I'll get the package and look at it . That should answer all the questions." 

"Okay, so I'd make a lousy detective." 

"You do wear a trench coat well. Stay here." 

Drew stepped to the desk, looked at the return address on the package and burst out laughing. He signed for it and carried it back toward C.J. 

She raised an eyebrow, "I take it you feel safe." 

"Well, that depends." He tapped a finger to his forehead. "Let's see, have I done anything to tick off my wife?" 

"It's from Gwen?" 

"Yeah, she overnighted it." He guided C.J. to the elevator. "Let's find out what's in it." 

*** Forty-five minutes later, C.J. had polished off two of the lemon bars her sister-in-law had baked and rushed to them. The package included drawings from her nephews. C.J. had propped up the slices of boyhood priorities on the standard hotel room dresser on her way to the shower. 

The crayon masterpieces were the first thing that caught C.J.'s eye when she emerged from taking a shower. She pulled the towel snugger around her. She'd nearly scalded her skin in an attempt to wash away the detritus that seemed to settle on her when she faced her brother's murderer. 

Kyle had drawn a ski scene with skiers and snowboarders. Steve stayed on the home front drawing a picture of the house and Kiki the Akita. The dog had a big smile on her face as she waved a paw. 

She studied the pictures wishing she could pop herself into them. She admitted it was based on a desire to escape her current reality and find some relief in her nephews' idealized views of life. 

C.J. fervently offered a prayer they'd hold onto that concept as long as possible. Once breached, it was never recaptured. She credited Drew and Gwen with doing a great job in raising the boys. 

After glancing at the clock radio built into the TV, C.J. reached for her phone. She muted C-Span on the TV and punched in the #4. She wasn't sure what message she'd leave for Danny, something simple like. . . 

*** "Concannon." Danny hadn't glanced at the caller ID because he was busily typing his story and was halfway through it. 

"Uh, oh, hi, Danny." 

"Hey." He kept his voice low until he determined no one else was around. He was thrilled to hear C.J.'s voice. 

"Feed Gail. Bye." 

"No, wait." He yelled into the phone, "C.J.? C.J.? C.J.!" 

He slammed his phone shut and threw it on the desk in his cubicle. "Damn it. That's it, I'm going to find out what's going on." 

Danny resumed typing his story. But the strokes now weren't the usual smooth tapping. He was beating on the keyboard trying to ease his frustration and a growing fear. 

*** C.J. cradled the phone against her cheek. Her face was hot with embarrassment, shock and shame. "I can't believe I hung up on him." 

She sighed and punched the speed dial for her office. "Carol, it's me. I thought you'd be briefing. What's up?" 

Her assistant updated C.J. on the day including the early lid because the President and First Lady had decided to have a barbecue in the Residence. Mrs. Bartlet was just back from a trip to Australia. 

Before they ended the conversation, C.J. told Carol to prep for questions on a Kansas law extending the use of vouchers for public school students. C.J. was grateful Carol didn't ask the source. It was one of the articles C.J. had highlighted in the Missouri papers. 

*** Carol hung up the phone and began to clear her desk. She wanted to get home in case her latest conquest, a Secret Service Agent on Abigail Bartlet's detail called. He'd promised her a koala bear from the trip. 

It momentarily distracted Carol from the sadness in C.J.'s voice. Carol hadn't asked any questions instead hoping C.J. would confide something. But her boss had kept her own counsel, it was typical C.J. 

Before Carol could snap shut her briefcase Danny rounded the corner looking fierce. The acting Press Secretary straightened her shoulders and put on a smile. "The lid is on, you should go home." 

"Carol, you know I haunt the halls." 

"Yeah, but on my watch that means I have to stay and keep you out of trouble." 

"Actually, I'm getting ready to leave." 

"Good." 

"Tell me where C.J. is and what's going on with her." 

"Danny." 

"She called me." 

"When?" 

"Probably just before she called you. I think she planned on there being a Briefing happening and getting my voice mail." 

"Oh." 

"Maybe she's in another time zone and lost track of time." 

Carol kept silent. Danny angled his head toward C.J.'s closed door. "I need to get in there." 

"Don't think that's happening." 

"Well, then you tell C.J. YOU kept me from carrying out her orders." 

"What orders?" 

"I'm to feed Gail. That's a direct quote." 

"She's been fed." 

"At least let me say goodnight to her." 

"I did that too." Carol didn't add that she'd decided they were all a little insane when it came to a goldfish. 

Danny was desperate. He wanted to be in the office to feel closer to C.J. He wasn't above begging. He squeezed Carol's arm. "Please, just for a sec. You come too." 

She couldn't resist the plea and didn't think it would do any harm. She felt sorry for Danny and sorrier for C.J. One glance wouldn't hurt. "Okay, come in." 

He crossed the threshold to be greeted by a whiff of C.J.'s perfume still in the air. It let him sense her presence. He focused on Gail. "Be good there, little one. Your Mom'll be back soon, I hope." 

On that word he looked at Carol. She shook her head. "Danny, don't. I can't say anything. You need to understand and you need to leave." 

He nodded reluctantly. "Thanks." 

Danny let his glance sweep the room one more time going from couch, chairs and bookcases to C.J.'s desk. The desk chair was pushed in and everything arranged neatly. He stared because there was something odd, something unbalanced, something missing. C.J's desktop display was off center. He concentrated for a moment visualizing it the last time he was in front of it. 

The intrepid reporter snapped his fingers startling Carol. "What is it?" 

"Nothing, you've been great." He kissed her on the cheek, "Don't worry." 

"Okay." Her tone was puzzled and her eyes widened as Danny sprinted off towards the Bullpen. 

Rounding the corner, Danny reached for his phone. Josh would tell him what was important enough for C.J. to take that picture off her desk. 

*** C.J. toyed with calling Danny's home number and leaving a message. She bagged that idea when she couldn't think of what to say without sounding idiotic. 

She finished dressing by pulling on jeans and a tunic top. She pulled her hair back and left the makeup off to blend in. She didn't want to be recognized. Her preference would be to just crawl into bed and forget what tomorrow promised. However, she'd told her big brother they'd go out and she wouldn't welsh. 

She turned off the TV regretting she didn't catch a glimpse of Danny in the B-roll shown during the day's recap of the White House Briefings. However, Carol was doing well and C.J. needed to tell her that. 

Drew answered the gentle tap she used on the door by saying, "I nearly fainted from hunger" 

"Likely story. You had most of the Lemon Bars." 

"I told Gwen you were pleased." 

"Damn, I wanted to thank her myself. Aren't they at soccer or something else wholesome and all American?" 

"This is family night. Dinner in and then games or something on TV other than your Briefings." 

"That's lovely and I'm sorry you're missing it." 

He took her hand and squeezed it. "Claudia Jean, I'm not. I'm still with family. Let's call home." 

Before he could grab the phone by his bed, she pulled out her wireless. "Let's use mine." 

"We are not a poverty case." 

"Indulge me, I don't see your number often enough on my bill." She felt a stab of shame as she punched in the number. She didn't even have her brother on speed dial, which needed to change. 

She forgot all the guilt when Steven answered the phone. "Cregg residence, talk fast 'cuz it's family night." 

Drew watched her face change from troubled to tickled. She got the latest on his younger son's struggles with spelling. After she complimented Steve's drawing of Kiki, he put the phone by the dog so C.J. could talk to her. 

He heard her respond to Kyle's tales of school and soccer. She remembered to ask him about his attempts at snowboarding. Her face softened when Kyle offhandedly told her he loved her as he passed the call off to his Mom. 

Gwen's unruffled manner rarely changed. She shrugged off C.J.'s thanks for the treats and made her promise she'd take most of them. She laughed when Gwen made her vow not to let any strange women pick up Drew. 

C.J. handed him the phone to wrap up the call. His face always glowed when he and Gwen connected. They hung up after a few minutes and Drew returned the phone. 

"Let's go. I picked a barbecue place." 

"You have a lovely family, Drew. You're very lucky." 

"I've always had a lovely family, Claudia Jean, and it's your family too." 

"I always forget that." 

"Don't." 

"Lead on to barbecue." 

*** The place was noisy and comfortably crowded. C.J. noted with relief the only TVs on inside carried sports stations and no one seemed to recognize her. 

She'd quietly told the hostess to make sure the server gave C.J. the bill. She slipped the hostess money to ensure that. The server rushed to their table with a big smile on her face. 

The woman had a sunny, down home manner amplified by serving what appeared to be a generous tipper. She rattled off specials but talked up the specialty of the house, a chopped barbecue combo platter with all the usual fixings. 

Drew ordered that and earned her approval, "You won't be sorry, hon." 

C.J. opted for a salad topped with grilled chicken and the dressing on the side. She shrugged off the waitress' plea, "Nothin' more substantial, sweetie?" 

Her brother echoed that, "Don't you eat real food anymore?" 

"That is real food. I thought I could eat but I'm not sure something substantial will stay down." 

"You should have said something, picked another place." 

"No, this works. It's what you wanted and noisy with lots of people living their lives." 

"We do that too." 

"Not at the moment. For now, we're frozen in a dark place trying to make up for the fact that Collin should have lived." 

"You ever wonder where he'd be?" 

C.J. kept her voice low. "Sure. I can see him part of the Bartlet Administration, keeping us honest on gay rights and other issues for those without a full voice in the chorus." 

Their server returned with their food and an extra plate. She laid a hand on C.J.'s shoulder. "This way you can eat off his dinner too. It's big even for this growing boy." 

"Thank you. I'll keep that in mind." C.J. smiled, "How about a little more lemonade, please?" 

"I'll just bring the pitcher." 

C.J. nodded pleased that it also meant a chance to talk to Drew uninterrupted. 

*** He tried to eat but Claudia had been right. It wasn't easy to shrug off the day and the vivid reminders of all the waste with the loss of Collin. "You know if Collin had lived, you might not be working where you are. It changed all of us and changed how we approach things." 

"In other words, you wouldn't volunteer for AIDS related causes." 

"Probably not, I'd leave it to Collin. He was HIV negative when he died but he could be so trusting and open, I wonder sometimes if we would've lost him to the disease." 

"He's in a place where he has all the answers, we just keep bumbling along." 

"We made a good showing today Claudia Jean and I'm ready to speak my piece tomorrow." 

"Then, let's finish up and get out of here. You need a good night's sleep to appear rested. Circles under your eyes, not a good look for you." She grabbed the check before Drew could. 

"Sis.", there was a warning in his tone. 

"Forget it." She left cash and a large tip. 

"Thank you. I'm not used to being a kept man. Do you want to lay out my clothes too?" 

"You're getting close to showing up tomorrow with a black eye." 

"Truce." He pulled out her chair and they headed into the night still anxious about the next day. 


	5. Stepping Up 5

**Stepping Up**

**by:** Lida Rose

**Character(s):** C.J for the most part with others  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Danny  
**Category(s):** A/U, romance   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The West Wing and its characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.  
**Summary:** Just a bit of an alternate universe  
**Author's Note:** Many thanks to LuLu and Evelyn for their efforts to beta and point out the error of my writing ways.   
This is absolutely Alternate Universe but plays off of some items in canon and things I think seem very possible and plausible. 

The next entry in my A/U series that already includes: "One Flu Over The White House","The Politics Of Poetry","The Consequences Of Poetry","Summit Time And The Lovin' Is Easy","The Scoop" 

* * *

The Parole Commission Chairman's gavel startled C.J. as it hit the conference table. She'd lost focus for a moment with exhaustion seeping in after another poor night of sleep. For the second morning in a row, the Teddy Bear she'd clutched during her bouts of fitful sleep was damp from her tears. 

Danny had presented the stuffed animal to her as a lark weeks earlier. They had no way of knowing it would be C.J.'s only link to him at the moment. It was her only comfort next to the actual physical presence of her older brother, Drew. 

The clank of convicted murderer Scott Owen Gruber's leg shackles gave her another jolt. She felt Drew take her hand to steady her wondering silently if it was also to steady him. 

*** Danny scribbled some notes and waited for a phone call to be returned. He felt more focused today with a list of definite goals he had to accomplish. 

He glanced around the nearly empty cubicles when he heard a muffled groan. It was repeated and he called out, "Am I about to be visited by the ghost of Christmas past?" 

"How about a Purim poltergeist?" Josh slumped into the seat next to Danny's desk. 

"Good morning, Josh." 

"Says you. I need three reliable sources cited before I'll buy it." 

"Guess we or at least you should have skipped last call." 

"Is this a pattern? Do you ply all your sources and dates with alcohol?" 

"They all hold their liquor better than you." 

"I'm insulted." 

"You're a lightweight. But you're a good and loyal friend." 

"I'm also a dead man. Tread softly." Josh winced as he heard Donna bellowing his name. "Death at C.J.'s hand may be preferable to feeling like this." 

"Take two aspirin.", Danny began. 

".and don't call me in the morning or ever again." Josh finished and started to push out of the chair to answer Donna. But it took too long to prevent another earsplitting shout of his name. 

Danny grinned pitying him. "He's back here, Donna." 

*** The hearing room fell silent as the prisoner hit a rhythm in telling his story. He'd already admitted that his first years in prison were marked by bouts of solitary after numerous fights and a pair of feeble escape attempts. Gruber glossed over his earlier parole request saying he did it to test the system. But now he claimed to understand the justice system and why he needed to be part of it. 

He glanced at the Creggs. "I was a dumb, confused, angry kid when this crime happened. Now, I'm more interested in learning and doing some good." 

C.J. kept her gaze locked on his until he turned away. Drew whispered to her, "I wonder if there's going to be an 'I'm sorry' anywhere in this that relates to Collin and not this bastard." 

They saw Gruber close his eyes as if to collect his thoughts. He took a deep breath and began to speak rapidly about his state of mind before the murder. 

He related he was jealous of anyone getting ahead in life that in his words, "didn't deserve it." He said he was waiting for advantages to be handed to him and when he didn't get what he felt he was entitled to, he fell in with the wrong crowd. They were people who claimed it wasn't his failings; it was a world that favored undesirables like Jews, minorities and gays. 

"Collin Cregg was a homo and didn't make any secret of it. He had rainbow stickers on his car and a bumper sticker at his desk. He freaked me out every time he talked to me. I was taught by the Aryans that homos got AIDS as punishment from God and wanted to infect as many people as possible for revenge." 

C.J. felt the blood drain from her face. She willed herself to stay silent. 

Her brother's murderer continued his ignorant narrative. "I didn't target Cregg. I wouldn't have touched him. I wouldn't have hurt that girl either, I just wanted to scare her. You know, to make her aware she hadn't earned what she had when it came to a job." 

He paused for a sip of water, "That night, I thought she was the only one there. I may have said some racist things to her, I felt it was my right because I have Arayan blood. I'd learned we were called the chosen race in Germany before World War II." 

The panel members were listening intently to every word. Gruber continued, "I got in her face and she backed away. I can't help it was to the wall. She figured she was trapped and I admit I didn't tell her no different. It would have been over except for him coming in." 

Before going on, the prisoner whispered something to his attorney. Michaels nodded and said to the room, "My client wanted to ask about using a phrase that might be offensive to some. I told him since it's a quote from Collin Cregg, it's permissible." 

"Okay, I am sorry if I upset anyone. See, I felt this hand on my shoulder and got spun around. It was Cregg and he was mad. He called me 'a chicken shit' for messing with that girl. I wasn't messing with her, I wouldn't dirty myself that way." 

Drew and C.J. steeled themselves for the next testimony. They heard him say, "I realized he'd touched me, a gay man had his hands on me. I knew I was dead because he'd given me AIDS. It freaked me out. I lost it. Next thing I remember was I was outside with a knife in my hand. I ran away." 

He looked at the Creggs. "But the cops caught me and they sent me up. In prison, I had a hard time at first. Last time I came here, I had a long list of fights and time in solitary. Now, I've grown up. I'm working on my GED." 

The scene of Collin Cregg in his cap and gown at his law school commencement flashed through Drew's mind. Their father sat between his other children on that day with tears of pride in his eyes as his youngest graduated from law school with the highest honors. 

Gruber's words cut through Drew's pleasant memory. 

"The jury could have put me on Death Row but they didn't. They knew I was young and I could learn and change." The prisoner made eye contact with the panel to try and forge a link. "See, I know now what causes AIDS and I don't have it. I don't have a death sentence unless you send me back there." 

Gruber bowed his head. C.J. glanced beyond him and noticed tears in his mother's eyes. That side of the room had done their best to convince the seven people on the Board to take a chance and give a murderer a get out of jail card. 

Had it worked and was he worthy? 

*** C.J. paced the conference room she and Drew were using. The remnants of a half eaten lunch littered the table. She'd ordered the BLT because she understood her body needed fuel. Along with the sandwich she'd taken something for the headache that lurked one painful throb away. 

Drew was out stretching his legs. C.J. figured he was also collecting himself and rehearsing in his head. It was how he'd gotten ready for oral presentations in school. He wasn't comfortable as the center of attention. 

She and Collin never understood Drew's nerves. They could speak easily and Collin excelled at it. He'd been on the debate team and in theatre productions. He'd been born to play "Professor Harold Hill" in a local staging of "The Music Man". 

But Drew could dazzle too. He'd given the valedictory speech in high school. C.J. recalled him it took him a mere few minutes along with a few words to bring tears and smiles to the entire audience from classmates to family. 

Her reverie was interrupted by the slap of a newspaper hitting the table in front of her. 

She looked down to see the masthead of the Washington Post. Her eyes drifted up to see her brother's knowing look. "Hey, thanks Drew." 

"You're welcome. Can't believe you weren't whining for this earlier." 

"I don't whine." 

"Okay, pout." 

"I don't . . ." C.J. considered her past behavior. "Well, not as much as I used to." 

She eased her gaze down to search for Danny's byline. As on most days it graced the front page and was above the fold. She ignored the headline and article contents to focus on three words, "by Danny Concannon". 

She nonchalantly let her fingers cover the words as she turned to Drew. "Do you feel ready?" 

"I do." He reached into his inside suit jacket pocket. "I brought these along." 

C.J. caught her breath. "I have this one too." She sat down and opened her folder to pull out the same picture of the Cregg children. "I keep it on my desk at work." 

"The Parole Board needs to see Collin as a person, not just as the victim in those crime scene pictures." 

"It's a good idea to build that up to show them a sense of his life when we were kids and on one of our last times together as a family." 

Drew asked, "You think it's okay they're out of the frame?" 

"Not sure we could get glass past security." She looked at the second picture Drew laid down. "Funny how he went from shortest to tallest." 

"It's the graduation robe." 

"You just hated losing the height advantage to our baby brother." 

"I wasn't the only one, Shrimp." He gathered up both pictures. "I'll double-check this is okay with Alfio. No false steps." 

"He'll love it, he likes drama." C.J. raised her head, "Collin would appreciate it too." 

"You're right." He checked the clock, "I can't sit here. I'm going out to dig up the D.A. We need to get this moving. You going to be here Claudia?" 

"Yeah. I'll catch up on my reading and practice looking serene." 

"Okay, I'll practice looking capable and trustworthy." 

*** She'd hungrily devoured the front section of the Post. C.J. gave Danny's article in the Washington paper a cursory look until she'd checked out the rest of the section. 

She came back to page one to reread the Senior White House correspondent's take on the previous day's events. Danny's work focused on the latest optimistic unemployment numbers and how the White House and the Hill both tried to take credit for the drop. 

C.J. drummed her fingers over Danny's byline. He'd nailed the behind the scenes posturing. Her fingers moved toward the phone in her purse. She toyed with the idea of calling him to say just that. 

He always liked her comments on his stories even when she fired pointed barbs. He claimed showering him with any kind of attention counted in his book. 

"I crave some attention too," C.J. mused. 

Drew tapped on the door and then opened it. "Whom were you talking to?" 

"Myself. This is all making me crazy." 

"Crazier." He paused, "We're up in five." 

C.J. glanced at the newspaper and sighed, "Okay." 

"Claudia Jean, don't pull any punches -- has he changed?" 

She went on instinct. "I don't think so and for Collin's love of justice, I looked for some sign of remorse." 

"I'm glad I wasn't the only one. The killer didn't say he was sorry, it's still all about him. He still doesn't get it." Drew felt relief as he put his thoughts into words, "He doesn't deserve a second chance. This is for Collin." 

C.J stood up and wrapped her arms around her brother. "Yes, this is for Collin." 


	6. Stepping Up 6

**Stepping Up**

**by:** Lida Rose

**Character(s):** C.J for the most part with others  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Danny  
**Category(s):** A/U, romance   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The West Wing and its characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.  
**Summary:** Just a bit of an alternate universe  
**Author's Note:** Many thanks to LuLu and Evelyn for their efforts to beta and point out the error of my writing ways.   
This is absolutely Alternate Universe but plays off of some items in canon and things I think seem very possible and plausible. 

The next entry in my A/U series that already includes: "One Flu Over The White House","The Politics Of Poetry","The Consequences Of Poetry","Summit Time And The Lovin' Is Easy","The Scoop" 

* * *

Alfio Monaco led C.J. and Drew back into the hearing room. The District Attorney rolled his shoulders to try and clear some tension. 

He wasn't sure Drew Cregg would come through. 

At the trial, C.J. and her late father spoke during sentencing. They'd been eloquent and emotional while still keeping sight of the objective of the harshest possible punishment for Collin Cregg's killer. 

Monaco still couldn't believe there had been no death penalty. If the trial were held today, he could argue it was a hate crime and have state and federal backing for the claim. In the original trial that option wasn't familiar to most people on juries. 

During his thoughts about how to introduce Cregg, Monaco had seated himself and listened to the gavel reopen the session. 

Before the prosecutor could stand, Drew Cregg was on his feet and heading to the podium. Monaco gaped as Drew carefully set down his notes and then looked at the Chairman. "Sir, may I approach your table, please." 

On the man's nod, Drew placed a pair of photographs in front of the seven members. He paused to take the time to make sure the prints were straight and facing the panel. 

Monaco felt the hairs on his neck stand up. He decided Drew Cregg would do just fine. 

*** "My name is Andrew Thomas Cregg. That's C-r-e-g-g." He glanced back at C.J. "We've spent our lives spelling our last names since it's not the common spelling. 

She smiled and nodded for him to go on. 

"It's an uncommon name and I like to think it's because we're an uncommonly fine family. 

"We grew up in Ohio and as you can see from the first picture -- we is for the middle child, Claudia Jean and the youngest, Collin James. We were close enough in age to be the best of friends and the bitterest of enemies depending on the time of day. 

"Look at the second picture, friendship won out in the end. This was taken at my brother's law school graduation. My father took both pictures. This is the last one of the three Cregg children together." 

C.J. twisted a tissue in her hands not aware she was shredding it. She sensed Drew's next line. 

"Within three months of that day captured forever on film and in our hearts, Collin was dead. A life of promise talent taken by an arrogant, selfish punk." 

Drew's hands gripped the podium as he stared over at the prisoner. "Scott Owen Gruber told you this pathetic story of being afraid of my brother because he was gay. This murderer claims he was only protecting himself. 

"That would be more plausible if he'd just hurt Collin and then run away. But my brother's murderer took his time to do more and reveled in it." 

Drew blew out a breath and glanced up for a moment. "I got the call from the police. I had to call my father and my sister to tell them someone we loved was brutally murdered. I didn't know how brutally until I flew to Missouri to identify the body." 

His finger pointed toward one of the pictures. "The arm Collin has around our sister was wrenched out of his shoulder and the word 'DIE' carved on it." 

There was a catch in Drew's voice. "The sentence was completed with the word 'FAG' on Collin's chest. I had to look very closely at my brother's bruised and bloodied face to be absolutely sure of who I was being asked to identify. It was Collin but nearly impossible to recognize him because of the imprints from the murderer's steel-toed work boots all over Collin's head. 

"This coward was found hiding in his mother's sewing closet. My brother stood up for a coworker, he didn't back down and he didn't hide. He IS the real man." 

Drew continued, "Some of society looks down on gays. But consider that my brother Collin dedicated his life to helping people. He believed in charitable acts and volunteering. He chose law not to make a fortune in corporate America but to help those less fortunate including the likes of this killer." 

C.J. watched Drew pull himself taller. "Owen or Gruber asked you for mercy. He didn't offer mercy to my brother. This cold-blooded killer hasn't expressed sorrow for his despicable actions. He probably will now that it's in his best interest but it would ring hollow." 

Despite his best attempts to control his emotions, Drew's voice shook. "Because of this vermin, my father died a sorrowful, broken man. My sister Claudia Jean and I miss our other musketeer. My wife and my sons won't meet one of the finest men ever." 

He pointed to the pictures. "When we were kids, I was the big guy in charge, Claudia Jean in the middle had the most heart and Collin worked hard to keep up with us." 

Drew paused, "In this last group shot, he'd lapped us. He was the tallest, the smartest and blessed with the biggest heart I've ever known. Please, keep his killer from hurting anyone else the way Collin Cregg and those who love him have suffered." 

With hands shaking, Drew left the lectern and indicated the photographs. "I'll leave these for now with you." 

The Parole Board members nodded in agreement. 

Drew turned back to the chairs and found C.J. with tears coursing down her cheeks. It was obvious she'd been crying for a while. He hugged her to him and let his own eyes run over. She whispered, "Way to go, 'Quiet Man'. John Wayne and every writer in my world would be proud. Thank you." 

"You're welcome. I hope I never have to do this again. Next time, you're up." 

"I can't think about next time. It's too horrible to contemplate doing this again." 

Alfio Monaco laid a hand on Drew's shoulder. The D.A. said, "You've made my job easier." 

He moved swiftly to the podium. "Mr. Chairman, ladies and gentlemen; I will waive my prerogative to speak at this time. Mr. Cregg did more than I could in explaining the pain of losing Collin Cregg. You can see there are many more victims than the man murdered." 

The chairman nodded and indicated the prisoner's side of the room. "Mr. Michaels, a recess seems in order." 

"No, thank you sir. I'd like to get my closing remarks in while Mr. Cregg's poignant recollections are fresh in everyone's mind." 

C.J. couldn't say why his words filled her with dread. The head of the Parole Board looked to the Creggs as did Monaco. When Drew shrugged, Monaco said, "Yeah, go ahead. We want this over." 

Michaels nodded and approached the panel. He scooped up the photographs left by Drew. Before anyone could object, the attorney dumped them into Monaco's lap with a look of disdain. 

Without a pause, Michaels turned from there to the podium and pounded a fist down on the surface. "That should break the spell cast for you by Mr. Cregg or should I say by the people pimping for him." 

The prisoner's attorney drilled the room with a penetrating stare. "That was quite a spell binder, I'll admit. Of course, what can you expect from the best emotion wringers? Ladies and gentlemen, we've been expertly manipulated by an orchestrated campaign from the White House and its mouthpiece, C.J. Cregg." 

Drew glanced at C.J. and saw her stricken look. He took her hand and nudged Monaco. The prosecutor indicated that they remain quiet. 

"My client and I don't have the benefit of professional speech writers who know how to turn a phrase to tug at your heart. We don't have that and we don't have any major political clout behind us. I beg of you, remember my client's words and ignore synthetic sympathy generated by slick political muscle intent on keeping a young man behind bars." 

He indicated C.J., "Don't let the White House Press Secretary and her Washington cronies tell us what we should think when it comes to justice. She can't use her high paying, high profile job and high handed ways to intimidate us." 

He paused, "This is my last time to talk to you. I ask you to be fair and give this young man his well deserved second chance." 

C.J. didn't know what to do. She felt ill and let her eyes wander to try to regain her equilibrium. They stopped on the prisoner. There was a small smile on his face. He glanced at C.J. and tried to swallow what became a smirk. 

She watched him extend his hand to his attorney. The short-sleeved shirt crept up exposing a section of his upper arm. C.J. gasped and turned to Drew, "Tell him to get a recess or at least a break." 

"Why?" 

"Just do it," she hissed. 

He whirled to his other side. "Claudia says take a break NOW." 

Monaco looked puzzled but complied. The Chairman of the Parole Board looked at the room clock and ordered, "We're adjourned until tomorrow morning at 9:30." 

C.J. was on her feet before he could push back his chair. Drew and Alfio had to put it in high gear to follow her. She pushed through the meeting room doors and headed straight to the conference room. Her dark business suit and serious expression indicated she wasn't to be hassled by anyone in her path. 

Her stormy eyes looked into the perplexed eyes of the two men. C.J. slammed down her notebook, "It's all a lie." 

"Of course it is, Sis. You didn't exercise any clout." 

"No, not that. Gruber, he's lying." 

Alfio gingerly asked, "What makes you so sure now?" 

"He has a new tattoo and I swear I saw a swastika." 

"Start again, Ms. Cregg." 

"When his lawyer finished shoveling that load of meaningless crap, he reached out to shake his hand." 

Drew tried to follow her train of thought. "Yeah, so." 

"The murderer is wearing a short sleeved shirt. You could see the bottom edge of the tattoo on his arm." 

"Tattoos aren't illegal.", said Drew. 

"Alfio, aren't they in jail?" 

"Yeah, frowned upon." 

"New tattoos are possible?" 

"Sure and that can definitely be a red flag to a warden." 

C.J. leaned towards the men, "We have to find out what it is and make it one more thing against him. He hasn't changed." 

"Sis, take it easy." 

"No." She pushed her hair back from her face with both hands. "You were magnificent and then it was all dragged down to the gutter again." 

"Is this because they brought up the Bartlet White House?" 

"God, no. That annoyed me but I am more furious that Collin was shoved aside. He's the victim and so are we, I want it known that this killer hasn't changed his ways." 

Alfio nodded. "Okay, but why are you certain it's new?" 

She started rifling through the file folder she carried in her notebook. "The arrest report lists identifying marks like scars and tattoos." 

C.J. pulled it out. "Here, this is my copy of the arrest report. It lists a scar on his neck and some tattoos." 

Drew glanced at it. "There's no tattoo listed for his right arm that could be seen easily." 

The Callaway County District Attorney took the report. "I'm on it. I'll borrow this." 

"You don't have yours with you?" 

"I'll have the original pulled and get on this." He had a look of grim purpose in his eyes. "We'll be well armed in the morning. Get out of here and leave this to me." 

*** C.J. kicked off her shoes and glanced at the clock. She reached for her phone and as a reflex, nearly dialed Carol. 

But the day's events overcame that action. She punched in a phone number as she tapped on the connecting door to her brother's room. 

He yelled, "One sec, Claudia." 

Drew opened the door to find the phone plastered to C.J.'s ear. His sister was saying, "Gwen, you'd be even prouder than ever. Drew was amazing, moving and right on target for Collin. He did it all from his notes." 

Her brother motioned for C.J. to hand him the phone. She shook her head as she listened to Gwen. "Thank you, Gwen. It's hard to imagine getting through this without him. Yeah, team Cregg is unstoppable because it's also got you and the boys. Talk to our hero. I love you, bye." 

She handed the phone to Drew. "Don't rush the call, I have unlimited minutes. Bring back the phone when you're done." 

C.J. went back to her room. They'd decided to celebrate Collin by going for his favorite, Italian food. But it would be at a casual place because C.J. couldn't face any pretentious, fancy eateries. 

She glanced longingly at the TV screen as the cable network correspondent wrapped up the day at the White House. C.J. saw a Press Room shot and wondered if it would linger enough for her to see Danny in his fourth row seat. 

But the shot gave way quickly to a soundbite from Carol. She smoothly talked about the White House reaction to a call for new elections in the U.K. 

Press Secretary morphed back into sister when Drew opened the connecting door. He tossed C.J.'s phone on the bed. "I can afford a long distance call." 

"Trust me, I'm well versed on the national debt. It's a pittance compared to the cost of calls through a hotel switchboard." 

"Claudia Jean. . .," his exasperated tone made C.J. smile. 

"Look, I wanted to brag and who better than to your wife." She looked at him with pride shimmering in her eyes. "You did a great thing that you didn't want to do. You would have soft-pedaled it with Gwen and I felt she deserved better." 

"It was my turn. I haven't forgotten that Dad and you stepped up at the trial." He cleared his throat to change the subject, "How much time do you need to get ready?" 

"Give me an hour to regroup." 

"You got it." As he closed the door, he called back over his shoulder. "There's still some battery left if you, you know need to make any calls." 

She felt a blush creeping up her neck to the roots of her hair. 

*** C.J. longed for her own stuff after another skin-scalding shower. She was used to hotel rooms but not without her personal items. She shook her head to be honest with herself, "Right now, I'd love to steal sweat pants and a Notre Dame sweatshirt to veg in before I snuggled in his arms." 

A check of the clock showed her she had time for one more call. She'd checked in with Carol and got nothing but support from her assistant and friend. 

In this instance, it meant Carol didn't ask questions and just answered C.J.'s queries. The acting Press Secretary reluctantly accepted C.J.'s praise for a job well done. "Thanks, C.J. but you make it look easy. You're missed." 

The sincere words moved C.J. "Okay, I'll remind you of that when I'm screaming at you to get some obscure facts in a millisecond. Oh and make sure you have copies of your Briefings for your resume not that we're letting you take another job." 

Carol had ended the call because she had to prep for her next session with the gaggle. 

By C.J.'s calculations that meant Danny's phone was likely on. She bit her lip as she hit his number on speed dial. 

Maybe it was time for her to let him a little further into her life. 

*** "Concannon." 

"What are you wearing?" 

Danny swore mentally, he'd grabbed his phone without checking the caller ID. If he'd seen her number he would have let it go to voice mail. Now, he was trapped and he couldn't let on to C.J. that anything was up. "Oh, hi." 

His tone sounded lame to him but C.J. didn't pick up on it. "I'm just wearing a towel and a smile. Do you have on your goldfish suspenders?" 

She'd given them to him on Valentine's Day, the same day they'd become lovers. Danny couldn't let his guard down. "Yes, I do." 

"Danny, is something wrong?" 

"No, I have a meeting starting. I'm sure you understand." 

"There still must be people around." 

"Bingo. Let's pick this up another time." He made himself keep it simple. "Thanks, take care. Bye." 

*** C.J. heard the click that cut off the call. She sighed wishing she'd timed it better. Maybe it was for the best, if they'd started talking she might have revealed everything to him about the circumstances surrounding her vanishing act. 

She forced herself off the bed to get dressed. Drew would be waiting. They were going to order Collin's favorites and raise a toast to him. 

*** Danny hated deceiving C.J. but he figured if they'd kept talking, he would have pressed her for more information about the reason for her disappearance. 

He returned to eating a limp salad. He was alone in the cubicles, the empty Briefing Room reminding him how desolate life could be without C.J. 


	7. Stepping Up 7

**Stepping Up**

**by:** Lida Rose

**Character(s):** C.J for the most part with others  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Danny  
**Category(s):** A/U, romance   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The West Wing and its characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.  
**Summary:** Just a bit of an alternate universe  
**Author's Note:** Many thanks to LuLu and Evelyn for their efforts to beta and point out the error of my writing ways.   
This is absolutely Alternate Universe but plays off of some items in canon and things I think seem very possible and plausible. 

The next entry in my A/U series that already includes: "One Flu Over The White House","The Politics Of Poetry","The Consequences Of Poetry","Summit Time And The Lovin' Is Easy","The Scoop" 

* * *

C.J. yawned again. She hated feeling so tired. Sleep had eluded her again most of the night. She looked over and saw Drew was trying to lose himself in the Washington Post crossword puzzle. He'd led C.J. to the newsstand before they came in the building. She didn't bother with the newspapers for the moment. She'd already given Danny's article a quick read. He'd focused on the call for new elections in Europe. 

She surprised herself by not caring what he wrote. She wanted to study him, not the way he constructed sentences. She closed her eyes to picture giving him a morning once over. C.J. would smooth the hair his forehead, straighten his tie and snap his suspenders before kissing him lightly before they walked out the door. 

C.J. wondered what kind of normalcy Drew longed for when he thought of home. 

"Claudia, Alfio is here." 

Her eyes flew open. "I didn't hear the door." 

"He walked by and looked in. I think he'll be right in." 

"God, I hope he found the information. We can't be wrong." 

"We're not. My mouth and your eyes did the job for our brother." 

Monaco walked in carrying files. "Good morning. Ms. Cregg, any time you want a job as an investigator, call me." 

"We were right." 

"Yeah. We have the goods." The prosecutor started to open the file when a guard tapped on the door indicating it was time to start. "It'll be fine. You can count on me." 

Drew fixed him with a look of pure steel. "We do, don't let us down." 

*** The surviving Cregg siblings settled into their seats. The hard contours could be tolerated because they were in the home stretch. This morning would bring concrete proof to back up their assertion that Collin's killer was still a bigoted, blood thirsty monster. 

Alfio loved moments like this. He knew he'd never have a killer admit on the stand to committing a crime like in the movies but Monaco could still put on a show. 

The drama had to be spellbinding with the stakes this high. He took his place at the podium with self-confidence emanating from every inch of his well-tailored charcoal gray suit. Its cut and the gray on gray shirt and tie made him appear taller. 

He jumped right in. "Mr. Chairman, ladies and gentlemen, we are at the end of our journey, no this part of the journey. For the Creggs, this will never be over. I'm asking you not to detour the prescribed path." 

C.J. nudged Drew, "He's on. He was like this during the closing to the jury for Collin." 

"You gave him the extra kick, kid." 

Monaco stated, "Normally, I'd have a tough job - summarizing all we've heard from both sides so I could convince you to keep this killer behind bars." 

He casually opened the file folder. "Today it's simple. Mr. Cregg gave you a true sense not just of the victim, Collin James Cregg, but of his life and the void his loss still leaves for his family." 

The prosecutor let his voice rise slightly as he glanced at the prisoner. "Scott Owen Gruber did his part too. He spewed quite a tale for you of ignorance and misunderstanding. He conveniently left out his violent tendencies and his vicious nature." 

He held up a couple of pages. "He lied but these don't. This murderer hasn't changed." 

Alfio nodded to the Creggs. "Gruber had several tattoos when he was nabbed. They're detailed in the arrest report. You'll see where I've marked the section that indicates he was proud to adorn his body with symbols of his distorted view of the world and his place in it." 

Members of the panel watched as Monaco placed a stacked pile of papers down. They were crisscrossed. "Please, help yourselves. There's a set for each of you. I have the originals." 

The D.A. placed the same papers on the prisoner's table. "Let's rake up and dispose of Gruber's proclaimed new leaf." 

He pointed at the top page. "As I said, the arrest report lists three tattoos; one on his chest reading 'White Power' with power misspelled, here it's p-o-w-r-e. There is a cross with a teardrop and the words on the left arm, 'God is on my side'." 

C.J. squirmed in her mind because she didn't want to move in her seat and distract the panel. She surmised Alfio was at his dramatic crossroads. 

She was right. 

"Ladies and Gentlemen, those tattoos are described as being in color. But Mr. Owen or Mr. Gruber or 'Mr. I'm trying to snow you' has a new tattoo. It's on his right arm." 

He tapped the bottom page. "It is a swastika and has the words Aryan Pride above it, all in capital letters." 

Monaco worked his way back to the podium. "However, it's not in several colors, not professionally done. It's angry and swollen and just in black. That's because it was carved into his arm using a plastic knife and a pen." 

He glared at the prisoner and with a loud voice proclaimed, "So much for honesty and enlightenment. The tattoo is less than two months old. We are sure of that because of the prison infirmary report. It documents his treatment for an infection from the use of a pen, a pen heated so ink would flow into the scrapings. He was treated with antibiotics and a topical cream." 

The panel members let their eyes follow Monaco's finger as he pointed to Scott Owen Gruber. "The report describes the wound. That swastika is your proof, he's not changed. Don't hand him a 'get out of jail free card'. He doesn't deserve freedom." 

C.J. let out a sigh and Drew expelled the breath he'd been holding. It was nearly over and they'd done all they could for Collin. Now, they had to trust the system to work. 

*** C.J. paced the hallway. They'd had to relinquish the conference room since technically their case had been heard. She longed for the privacy that let her concentrate on her goal without worrying about being spotted. 

Drew stood and put a hand on her arm. "You call more attention to yourself this way." 

She was startled as she realized he could read her mind. That had been Collin's talent. It appeared he'd channeled it into Drew and it comforted her. She leaned in to hug him. "You're probably right. But I'd say most of these people are locked in their own hells and don't have time to be dazzled by me." 

"Let's get lunch, Claudia Jean." 

*** C.J. had convinced Drew to go out for lunch. She admitted to herself it was also for her own good. They needed to start coming back to the real world after being immersed in the bowels of the justice system. 

She reminded herself that the judicial branch like the executive branch could do great things on every level. It wasn't all about violence, hate and loved ones left behind. Often, it was righting wrongs and protecting those who needed and deserved it. 

The guard in the hearing room proved to be a good source of information. He'd suggested a sandwich shop on a side street when C.J. asked for a lunch recommendation. 

She'd thanked him with a warm smile. As she turned to retrieve her bag and grab Drew the guard stopped them. "Ms. Cregg, I doubt you'll have to see anyone there you don't want to." 

"Thanks, we appreciate it." 

"Yeah and Mr. Cregg, it was a good session when you spoke. You could tell it was honest, from the heart, you know." 

It was Drew's turn to offer thanks as he hurried C.J. out. 

*** The two-block walk in brisk weather revived them. It felt good to stretch long legs, allow arms to swing and talk in a normal tone. 

When the server offered to leave the coffee pot, C.J. accepted with glee. The coffee was hot, fresh and strong. She was on her second cup before Drew had half finished his first. 

"Claudia, is there a coffee bean where your stomach used to be?" 

"Probably." She glanced at her watch. "You don't want to know how many cups I've had by this time on a usual day." 

"You never have usual days." 

"True." While she waited for her tuna melt and Drew for his grilled chicken sandwich, she sized up the place. "I like this, mostly state employees but not the big shots, these are real working people." 

"You're a big shot and you work." 

"Some days I just spin my wheels, Drew." 

"Not when it comes to hate crimes, Claudia Jean." 

"I still don't know if it was right. You can't punish people for what they think, however once we started the debate it snowballed from possibly good politics to a probable quick fix." 

"You don't believe there are hate crimes?" 

"How can you ask me that after what Collin endured? But as someone pointed out to me, one murder's no worse than another when you think about it. They're all tragedies." 

Their food arrived and Drew checked his watch and said, "I don't know why I'm worried we'll miss it. We might have a long wait." 

"I stopped at the water fountain and I heard someone from another family say it's Friday and that's usually a quick decision day. They don't like to have these things hanging over the weekend." 

Drew snapped his fingers. "That IS courtroom wisdom. Alfio told us that at the trial. He was right, the jury came back on a Friday with the verdict and then the sentence on the next Friday." 

"Maybe the lunch brought in is worth hanging around for on Fridays but not Mondays." She took a dainty bite of her tuna melt. "This qualifies as good." 

"Do you ever eat red meat or anything substantial?" 

"I had chicken the other night." 

"On a salad." 

"Last night, I ate Italian. 

"You had aglio y ollo." 

"And you had manicotti. Drew, neither of us is stuffing ourselves. I don't want to feel weighted down by food. I've also been afraid I wouldn't keep it down." 

"You've fidgeted enough to burn up plenty of calories." 

"All that nervous energy." She gave him a measuring look. "You're calm now." 

"I think it's more resignation. We've done everything we can, Sis. We have to accept that. Collin would agree." 

"You're right. I just hate being at loose ends." C.J. shrugged, "I'm used to juggling twenty things at once." 

"Down time freaks you out." He laughed, "I can see that. Why didn't you bring things to do?" 

"Work papers are too sensitive. My supply of trashy novels is nonexistent." 

"Everyone has a stack of books they've been meaning to read. I'm sure there is something suitable in that." 

She could see the piles of books, one in her bedroom closet and one in her den. They had grown taller with Danny passing on titles to her. He was a voracious reader and plowed through books like most people went through a bag of M&Ms. 

Drew noticed her far off look. His kid sister was focused on something or someone else and it was good, her daydream let her relax for a rare moment on this trip. 

"Speaking of books, Claudia." 

C.J. snapped back to the present with her brother in a noisy, crowded sandwich shop. "Yeah. Are you going to tell me you've finally learned to read?" 

"You're so droll. No, I was going to say Gwen wanted me to tell you she's reading the biography yet again." 

"Good. It's a great book about a great woman." 

"Gwen still can't believe it's autographed. She has to study both signatures and inscriptions each time she opens it and brag to me about them." 

"Both signatures." C.J. looked puzzled but kept her voice low. "Did Mrs. Bartlet have her husband sign it too?" 

"No, the guy who wrote it signed it too. He wrote a nice note in it." Drew noticed C.J.'s expression changing with her color. "Let's pay the bill and go. You look like it's too warm in here for you." 

"I had no idea. When I asked Mrs. Bartlet to sign it, she promised to do it and then she told me she'd sent the book back to Gwen. It shouldn't surprise me to find out about that kind of thoughtfulness." 

"It thrills Gwen, both autographs did." 

"Drew, I need to check in and don't forget it's Friday. We might get a break. Let's see if Alfio's heard anything." 

*** They hustled back to see where things stood. The Creggs had learned in cases where the penalties were less stiff, the Parole Board could take weeks to issue a decision. Higher profile cases however usually received a quicker announcement. Drew offered to get the scoop freeing up C.J. to make her call. 

She paced outside in the bracing air longing for spring and the cherry blossoms. They were weeks off but she felt like she'd been living with winter's chill for most of her life. 

The speed dial to her office hummed and she concentrated on life back at work. Ginger answered in her efficient chirp. Her voice warmed when she heard C.J. ask what was going on. Carol was in the middle of a Briefing and Ginger was lending a hand. C.J. offered her thanks and then got a rundown on the day's ebb and flow. She made Ginger laugh after asking, "No one else has taken the podium that will require damage control?" 

"Josh and Toby both offered to spell Carol. You'll be proud, she froze them in their tracks with a single 'no'." 

"No problem then. Tell Carol I'll catch up with her later." 

With a sigh, C.J. ended the call and punched in Danny's number. The voice mail picked up and she felt winter's chill melt a little from just the warmth of his voice. After the message she whispered in a husky voice, "You know, I'm so captivated by your brains, your smile and your innate sexiness that I keep forgetting you really are a nice person. Catch you later." 

For the first time since Tuesday afternoon when she'd taken Drew's urgent call, C.J. hung up a phone with a light heart. It felt good. 

*** Drew was waiting for C.J. outside the hearing room. "Alfio said don't get comfortable. He thinks we're going back inside." 

C.J. let her eyes sweep the hallway. "Wish we still had that side room to hide out." 

"I double-checked. It's holding another family as they prep and wait. Besides, we have no reason to hide. We're the good guys." 

"You're right. I wouldn't trade places with them. I'm relieved and happy we're beyond that." 

"Moving forward, Claudia Jean. That was always Collin's strong suit." 

Alfio Monaco came around the corner. "We're up. The Board wants all interested parties present." 

"It has to be a good sign.", C.J. stated hopefully. 

"We thought that when the penalty phase ended quickly. We predicted it would be another win for the state because the guilty verdict came rapidly." 

"Now, I am worried." C.J. took Drew's arm and glanced heavenward. "We tried Collin, we tried our best." 

*** Fridays were take out the trash days for the White House news cycle unless the earth moved off its axis. Carol wanted to make sure nothing changed the usual order of things. It had been a long exhausting week. She had just completed what figured to be the second last Briefing of the day. 

She'd answered Danny's question about White House support for an HHS initiative on childhood immunizations that the First Lady favored. As usual, his sources were right on the mark. 

"Okay, people that's it for now. Don't wander too far or you'll miss our next amazing episode of 'Stump Carol'." 

"'Try to 'Stump Carol' is more like it." Danny called out the compliment as the media started to rise. 

He was already digging out his phone and turning it back on. The first message was from a familiar number on his caller ID. Danny listened to C.J.'s message twice trying to figure out why he was nice and if she'd left any clues to what was next. 

He was only certain he wanted her back in his arms. She wouldn't care to learn that he'd missed not just hearing her moan in the dark during sex but hearing her gentle breathing and sighs when she finally gave in to sleep. 

Every day his feelings for her tunneled deeper into every part of his being. There was no way C.J. was ready for that. 

The White House Senior Correspondent shook off romance to check the rest of his messages as the lead for his story started playing in his head. 


	8. Stepping Up 8

**Stepping Up**

**by:** Lida Rose

**Character(s):** C.J for the most part with others  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Danny  
**Category(s):** A/U, romance   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The West Wing and its characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.  
**Summary:** Just a bit of an alternate universe  
**Author's Note:** Many thanks to LuLu and Evelyn for their efforts to beta and point out the error of my writing ways.   
This is absolutely Alternate Universe but plays off of some items in canon and things I think seem very possible and plausible. 

The next entry in my A/U series that already includes: "One Flu Over The White House","The Politics Of Poetry","The Consequences Of Poetry","Summit Time And The Lovin' Is Easy","The Scoop" 

* * *

The Parole Commission members filed into the hearing room. They wore nearly identical noncommittal expressions. Alfio Monaco tried to read them. But the Callaway County District Attorney didn't have any luck. 

Scott Owen Gruber and his attorney stared straight ahead. The Grubers sat behind their son wringing their hands as the mother softly wept. 

C.J. took all this in as she eased into her seat. She closed her eyes to the scene and instinctively sought one brother's hand while closing her other hand on Collin in the picture of the Cregg children. 

Drew pressed closer to her and said a silent prayer before focusing on the seven men and women at the front of the room. 

The Chairman of the Parole Commission cleared his throat. "Thank you for returning. We met for several hours on cases and frankly, this was the easiest to decide." 

He looked around the room. "After hearing the evidence, ALL the evidence, we are denying the parole request of Scott Gruber, also known as Scott Owen." 

There were anguished cries from the murderer's mother and a huge sigh of relief from the murder victim's sister. C.J. let her eyes open and turned to Drew. "It's done." She paused, "For now." 

"We did it and he'll serve at least five more years before we face another round." 

The Chairman's gavel tapped on the table. "Mr. Gruber, we will be asking prison authorities why we weren't made aware of the illegal tattooing. It'll be noted in our records." 

The killer just shook his head and curled his lips in disgust. 

"This ends the official proceedings of the State of Missouri Parole Board." He pounded the gavel again. One moment, please." The Chairman adjusted his glasses, "Mr. Michaels, there is no record now but I want to make something clear." 

"Yes, sir?" The defense attorney was perplexed. 

"You insulted the Board, the parole process and the Cregg family with your unwarranted tirade. Ms. Cregg hasn't said a word in these proceedings, hasn't spoken to any of us and has strived to remain inconspicuous. YOU put her in the forefront of things." 

"Sir, I was acting in the best interests of my client." 

"You were grandstanding. You should have paid more attention to your client and your recent American history. Ms. Cregg can back me up on this. President Bartlet won the White House without carrying the state of Missouri. He lost this county and the county where the crime occurred. Ms. Cregg and the White House have no undue influence here." 

He nodded to the rest of the Commission. "We are done here. Return the prisoner to his cell." 

*** The guard ran interference for C.J. and Drew. He shepherded them to a back door and sent them down a stairwell for staff only. 

C.J.'s brain was whirling. She wanted to thank the Parole Board Chairman and members but they'd already slipped out. She settled for thanking the guard warmly. He placed his hand over the one she'd extended and with twinkling eyes told her, "I voted for President Bartlet and he'll have my vote again." 

"We're very grateful." 

Drew watched as his kid sister started reverting to the sleek political operative. It became more apparent when Alfio caught up with them at the car. 

"C.J., hey don't run off." 

She turned to the D.A. and raised an imperious eyebrow. Drew saw that he would be treated to seeing his sister cow a public servant. Monaco was about to put a friendly hand on C.J.'s arm. Her expression stopped him. "I'm glad I caught up with you. You too, Drew." 

Her eyebrow moved higher and Alfio stuttered, "I meant Ms. Cregg and Mr. Cregg." 

"Yes?" C.J. favored him with a small smile. 

"I wanted to make sure you were okay and tell you goodbye. If you'd like I could buy you a drink." Monaco quickly amended the invitation, "I meant both of you." 

The elder Cregg took pity on him. "Thanks but we're anxious to be on the road. I'm sure you understand." 

"Oh yeah. Well, thank you for rearranging your schedules to come here and to be such a big help." 

"Help?" C.J. revved up, "I'd say we were your salvation. Drew was incredibly effective despite you not having confidence in him and his ability to move people. You thought I had to speak because of my job and in the end your affiliation with my family would be another feather in your political cap." 

Alfio ignored that because he wasn't willing to admit she'd nailed his underlying motive. He tried to placate C.J. by concentrating on Drew. "He was excellent." 

"And I noticed the tattoo that sealed my brother's killer's fate for the time being." 

"You're right." 

"We bought five years. I'd suggest instead of congratulating yourself, maybe you should think about how to do your job better when it comes to lifting the burden off the victims. Be better prepared if we have to face this at another hearing." 

Monaco took a deep breath and plunged in, "In five years, I would like to be holding another office. I think you'll agree I can be valuable." 

C.J. nodded to Drew and edged closer to the car. "I'm sure you understand Mr. Monaco that I can't involve myself with your political aspirations. I have a President to re-elect and have to help him help this country. We'll expect follow up letters on any investigation and discipline that comes out of the prison tattoo incident." 

She opened the car door and fired her final shot. "You do have our current addresses, I believe." 

Drew stifled a laugh. He offered his hand to the prosecutor. The man looked half a foot shorter. "Thanks, Alfio." 

"Sure, Mr. Cregg. I didn't mean to make it look like I was capitalizing on your tragedy." 

"We know." He glanced at C.J. already in the car. "My sister reined herself in during all this, there's a lot of pent up energy and emotion." 

"I can see that." He reached into his suit pocket. "I admit I missed things but I had an ace or two myself." 

He handed Drew an envelope. "This letter should prove that. Share it with your sister, please." 

Alfio strode off trying to decide if he'd have to rethink his political plans. Maybe he should run for something at the Statehouse level. 

*** The drumming of C.J.'s fingers broke the silence in the car as Drew headed back toward their hotel. She whirled to him, "Why do you always drive?" 

"Why did you get in the passenger side?" She opened her mouth and then shut it. He grinned at her and continued, "Besides, I'm bigger and I'm the man. Now, go ahead and put me in my place like you did ol' Alfio." 

She blew out a breath. "I guess I was pretty insufferable." 

"I enjoyed it Claudia Jean, I rarely get to see you in action. The few times you've flared up on this trip, it's been a work of art." 

"He just made me so damn mad. He wasn't even giving us a chance to decompress. I'm not stupid. I know about his political plans." 

"About now, I'm sure he's thinking of changing parties." Drew made a deft change of his own to another lane. 

"Aw, hell. I'll check with Josh and see about calling the DNC to baby-sit him." 

"That's a helpful little Beltway babe." 

"Go jump in the lake." C.J. pulled out her phone, "Should I call Gwen?" 

"I'll call her back at the hotel." 

"You know, Drew, we could leave from the Jefferson City airport." 

"Sure but then we're charged a penalty on the rental car and it's not as large as St. Louis. We'd probably have to make connections." 

"Guess you're right." 

"Claudia, I'm hurt. You're already tired of my company." 

"Actually, that's been the upside to this. I can't remember the last time we had a long stretch of time together." 

"So fly home with me. Gwen and the boys would love it." 

"I can't." She wrapped a hand around his arm, "But I will soon. I'd like a chance to catch up with all of you." 

Drew turned into the hotel driveway and pulled into a short term spot. "Okay, I'm holding you to it." 

He undid his seat belt and casually remarked, "And bring that guy with you." 

"What? What guy?" 

"The one who brings a faraway look to your eyes, a blush to your cheeks and a smile to your lips." He beamed at his sister. "It becomes you, Claudia Jean." 

She bit her lip and wondered how much she could say, "Uh, Drew." 

"Besides, I'm your brother and the patriarch of the Cregg family. It's my duty to make him squirm on behalf of Dad and Collin." He took her arm. "You squirming is just a bonus." 

"I'm going to my room." 

"See you up there. I'll start check out." 

"We can try our luck at the airport or just book tickets before we leave here." 

"Claudia, I don't want to take a chance. We'll do it from here. Besides, I love that hold music." 

*** C.J. started throwing things into her carryon as she phoned Carol. "Hi, it's C.J. Where are we in the day?" 

Carol updated C.J by telling her the lid would be on in the next half hour when Marine One lifted off for Camp David. The acting Press Secretary told her boss the First Couple wanted a weekend of barbecuing since the First Lady had been away for several weeks. 

"Great." C.J paused and took a breath, "I'll be home tonight." 

She couldn't answer Carol's enthusiastic, "When?" 

"I have to book a flight." 

"C.J., hold on. Let me get Travel on it." 

"No, this is personal." 

"Yeah it is and they have your credit card on file." 

"Well ." 

"How about this? I'll get them to give me the screen address and code. Then, I'll do it. Just stay on the line." 

C.J. had the room nearly stripped of her belongings. Carol clicked on. "What's your estimated ETA to the airport?" 

She looked at her watch, "About three hours, Carol." 

"Okay, with the time difference.just a sec." She asked C.J. for the airline she'd flown in on. 

An idea flashed through C.J.'s mind. "Carol, use my credit card to book my brother's flight too." 

"Did he fly in on the same carrier?" 

"Uh-huh but he's going back to Boulder." 

"One more second." Carol put her on hold and then came back on the line. "Take these flight numbers and confirmation codes down and call me a travel agent." 

"I'd dub you the perfect assistant but you're more than that." 

"No problem. Have a safe trip and phone if you need anything. Bye." 

C.J. closed the phone as she pondered the change in Carol's voice. She sounded more confident and she should, she'd done a good job. C.J. was sure Carol had increased her standing in the eyes of the West Wing and the White House Press Corps. It reflected well on her and on C.J. 

The drawings from her nephews received special attention. They were carefully slipped into a folder in her briefcase. She closed her bags and tapped on the connecting door. Drew was on the phone. "Hold music?", she inquired sweetly. 

"Yeah." 

"Hang up. You're booked already and we better be on the way." 

"I love being related to someone with connections." He grabbed his suitcase, "For getting this done, you can even drive." 

"'Bout time." 

"Well, at least halfway." 

"Drew." 

*** Danny moodily stared at his computer screen. He'd filed his story after Carol put the lid on. He'd heard Marine One whir away but couldn't get excited about the prospect that it was the weekend. 

He eyed the phone. He was waiting on some return phone calls. Or he could call C.J.'s number and see how she was doing. Danny could tell her he was aware of what was going on and he was eager to listen or do whatever else was needed. 

However, he wasn't sure how she'd react to that and Danny wouldn't add to her burden. Still, he wanted her to know if she wanted to share, he'd gladly take part of the load. 

The sound of a slip of paper being slapped down startled him. Carol stood over him. "Danny, lid's on. I can't leave until you do." 

He looked at the paper. "Yeah, okay, got it." He started tossing things into his bag but paused to kiss her. "Don't call me, I'll call you." 

She grinned at his retreating back. "Well, my work here is through." 

*** C.J. Cregg was crossing things off a quickly made list as she marked time in the waiting area. Her flight left in forty-five minutes. 

She found herself humming some bubblegum tune. It was leftover from the drive between Jefferson City and St. Louis when Drew surprised her with a music mix tape of Collin's. 

It had been in Collin's things that Drew had claimed after the murder. Gwen had enclosed it with the lemon bars. Drew plugged it in on their drive back to St. Louis. When she'd heard a doowop version of "In The Still Of The Night," C.J. had nearly swerved off the road. "It's a Collin cassette." 

Drew laughed and liked how it lightened his heart and erased tension. "Gwen sent it and said we should play it if the time was right." 

The time had been right on C.J.'s leg of the drive back. Listening to some of Collin's favorites meant a mix of Big Band, bubblegum and Broadway. It relaxed her and made Collin alive again. 

At the drive's halfway point they found a rest area and pulled off. Drew had insisted they pick up food before leaving Jefferson City. They'd gotten box lunches with turkey sandwiches, chips and a cookie. C.J. gave Drew her chips and half the cookie. He'd growled again about her not eating properly and drinking too much coffee. 

It was chilly at the picnic table outside the rest area. But C.J. liked the bite in the air. It was one more way to banish all the darkness they'd been surrounded by during the Parole Hearing. 

She'd taken the tape from Drew to have the techno wizards in the communications office make copies for them. It was comforting to see Collin's bold printing again on the tape label. That could be scanned to become the CD label. C.J. was certain Collin would love today's audio technology. 

It was one more good reminder of Collin. Drew had shared the other with her in the quiet of the rest stop. C.J. grew misty thinking of the gesture forwarded via Alfio. She vowed to have Josh goose the DNC on Alfio's behalf. 

The gate attendant approached her. "Ms. Cregg, could you come to the desk, please?" 

"Certainly." She offered a silent prayer she wasn't being bumped. Carol had booked both tickets coach. Drew didn't care and C.J. figured she could put up with it to get home. 

The ticket agent spoke quietly. "If you'll give me your ticket, please. We're going to move you to first class. With the upgrade, I can have someone escort you to the VIP lounge." 

"Thank you but I'm fine here. The waiting area isn't too crowded." 

"No, ma'am. Not many people fly into D.C. on a Friday night. Usually the opposite." The efficient airline employee checked the clock. "We'll board you in about twenty minutes." 

"I can use the time." She retreated to a quiet, isolated corner of a currently dark gate. 

She couldn't imagine anyone would recognize her without makeup, hair tucked back and simple, casual clothes. The wool pants and twin set were dark and classic in line. There was nothing of C.J.'s usual vibrant presence evident. 

Her briefcase yielded a bulging address book. She consulted a page to reach a national florist. She arranged for flowers to be sent to her sister-in-law. As an afterthought, C.J. sent Carol a plant to congratulate her on a job well done. 

After a glance at her watch, she made another call. With it, she sent two restaurant gift certificates to Drew and Gwen. There was one for a chain the boys loved and the other for a romantic dinner for two. 

C.J. suspected it was excessive but she tended to overcompensate when she felt guilty. She'd given into the same impulse in the airport gift shop. Over Drew's protests, he carried a bag filled with t-shirts, caps and magazines she thought the boys would like plus candy. He'd tried to put some of it back or pay for part of it. She'd refused. 

Drew threw his hands up in exasperation swearing he'd get a check to her for his ticket and half the other expenses. She'd hugged him fiercely as they parted silently vowing to rip up the check or put it in her nephews' bank accounts. 

Her brother had given her one of his sturdy looks and hugged her once more. "I love you Claudia Jean and I miss you. Sometimes I feel like you're lost to me, just like Collin." 

That had stunned her but she found her voice. "Thank you for telling me that. I'll do better to be around, to be a pain in the ass." 

"Just like when we were kids." 

She glanced at the screen showing arrivals and departures but couldn't make out anything without her glasses. Drew's flight left from another terminal after hers. C.J. tucked away her address book and let her fingers travel over her own souvenir bag. 

It held a St. Louis Cardinals baseball cap for Danny. She wasn't even sure she'd give it to him. She wasn't even sure he was speaking to her after her disappearing act. 

C.J. grabbed her phone to call Danny. A shadow fell over her. It was the gate agent, "You may board now, Ms. Cregg." 

"I missed hearing the boarding announcement." She put her phone away and smiled, "Thank you for coming to get me. I'm anxious to get home." 


	9. Stepping Up 9

**Stepping Up**

**by:** Lida Rose

**Character(s):** C.J for the most part with others  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Danny  
**Category(s):** A/U, romance   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The West Wing and its characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.  
**Summary:** Just a bit of an alternate universe  
**Author's Note:** Many thanks to LuLu and Evelyn for their efforts to beta and point out the error of my writing ways.   
This is absolutely Alternate Universe but plays off of some items in canon and things I think seem very possible and plausible. 

The next entry in my A/U series that already includes: "One Flu Over The White House","The Politics Of Poetry","The Consequences Of Poetry","Summit Time And The Lovin' Is Easy","The Scoop" 

* * *

C.J. Cregg found her seat in first class hoping she wouldn't have a seatmate. As the plane taxied down the runway she noticed to her surprise there was no one else in first class. She politely turned down a meal but took a glass of wine. The flight attendant left her alone after that. 

The flight from St. Louis to Washington, D.C. soared through the Friday night skies. It was calm up in the clouds but turmoil of the week's events still raced through C.J.'s mind and heart. 

With all that swirling in her head she was still able to doze off for a short time. She woke up as the Captain announced they were descending. C.J. realized as she struggled to focus that she'd have to battle for a cab with her luggage. 

"Maybe Carol . . ." C.J. abandoned that idea remembering the Secret Service Agent Carol was seeing was back from the First Lady's trip. Even though she'd heed the call, C.J. decided Carol deserved a night off. 

C.J. thought about calling Danny. She chickened out figuring it would be rude to call him after she'd run out on him. But she promised herself that once she was home and settled, he'd be her first phone call. The first call after she handled all her work obligations. C.J. wasn't sure what she'd say to Danny and how she'd be received. 

Deep in her heart she hoped he'd be willing to come over. She toyed with the idea of going to his place and just hiding out there from her work responsibilities. But she was back in Beltway air space and needed to be easy for the Bartlet White House to find. 

She stared out the plane window and let her head fall back onto the headrest. A weariness that went to her bones was clouding out everything else. 

*** The rest of the passengers crowded toward the front of the plane. C.J. decided to stay in her seat facing the window to avoid notice. She was in no hurry to hunt for a way home. 

She dragged herself and her belongings off the plane after thanking the crew. She came down the jet way and for a moment flashed on the image of Danny standing there. She could drop her things and be in his arms in the next 500 feet. 

C.J. rounded the corner and saw no flash of red hair or Danny's welcoming smile. She sighed and started toward the main lobby. 

Then, she saw it. A man in chauffeur's livery held a sign. It read, "Goldfish Tours". She blessed Carol as the perfect assistant and stepped towards the driver. 

"I think you might be waiting for me. I'm Claudia, I mean C.J. Cregg." 

"Yes, Ms. Cregg. Good evening, let me take your bags. Are there any at baggage claim that I need to retrieve?" She noticed he spoke English with an underlying Spanish accent. 

"Yes, take them. Thank you, Mr.----" 

"I'm Hector Moldonado, Ms. Cregg." 

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Moldonado. No, I only have the carryons." 

"Hector, please." He pointed towards the exit for limos. "We're out this way." 

*** They crossed outside into a chilly but not frigid night. C.J. already felt better with the rise in temperature and the fact that she hadn't been forgotten. Carol had made sure C.J.'s arrival was easy. 

It hit her as she switched her purse to her other shoulder that she was short on cash. She wondered if Hector would take plastic or if they could pit stop at an ATM. 

She could already imagine the headline over a picture if someone saw a limo pull up to a bank machine with C.J. climbing out of it to get cash. Maybe she wasn't so relieved to be home. 

*** Hector piloted her to a shiny black limo and leaned over to open the door. He cautioned, "Watch out." 

C.J. was on her turf and taking back the bearing of the in charge sophisticated Press Secretary who occasionally tripped especially near swimming pools. 

With a smile for Hector, she elegantly folded herself into the limousine's back seat. She turned back to adjust a seat belt strap and then plopped onto the floor as she stifled a scream. 

"Danny!" 

The door slammed as Hector nodded approvingly. Danny smiled at C.J. "Hey, nice to see you too." 

He leaned forward from the rear-facing seat to boost her back onto the cushioned seat. Instead, he found himself pulled off balance by her. They ended up nose to nose with Danny still smiling and a myriad of emotions vying for control on her face. She repeated, " Danny." 

That was enough for him. His plan to just hold her evaporated as he molded his lips to hers. Her eyes widened and stayed open as she felt the sweetness of his mouth feasting. 

He eased her head back and kissed her more deeply. She pulled her lips away to wrap her arms around his neck and bury her face in his shoulder. He tightened his grip around her until he could work her into his lap., "I'm here." 

Danny was strong, warm and solid. C.J. took a deep breath and found his familiar scent reassuring. 

The panel separating the driver's seat from the passenger area slid down. "Are we ready to go Mr. Danny?" 

"If you've got Ms. Cregg's luggage stowed Hector, we're on the way." 

"I'd prefer it if my passengers were on the seat, at least to start the trip." 

C.J. blushed and Danny grinned, "No problem." He hoisted himself onto the seat and then helped C.J. next to him. 

She shook her head to clear the last few minutes from her mind. including the kiss. "I guess I need to fire my assistant or am I murdering the Deputy Chief Of Staff?" 

Danny put an arm around her. "Neither would be nice or the right thing to do. We just care about you. Isn't this better than searching for a cab or catching the Metro?" 

She was feeling raw emotionally and had no answer. She hadn't planned on dealing with Danny until she'd composed herself. This was too soon and C.J. couldn't relax into him. 

With his usual perceptiveness he offered, "If you want to be alone Hector can drop me somewhere and I'll grab a cab home. You can go to your place. No one is trying to crowd you." 

To prove his point, he eased a few inches away and waited. C.J. closed her eyes feeling the pain of even a small distance between them. "I was thrown off guard. I wasn't expecting this." 

"You looked for me in the waiting area." He wasn't asking, he sensed it. 

"I did. I thought it was just a fleeting bit of whimsy but it was a real hope." She hadn't even realized it at the time. It explained that lost feeling even on her home court. 

He settled her back into the crook of his arm. "I thought of it and I wanted to be there, however it seemed a little indiscreet." 

"A lot indiscreet." She glanced around the plush interior, "This is much more subtle." 

"Tinted glass and a black car in D.C. are common sights. We could be anyone tucked away." 

Hector slid the glass panel down again. "My apologies, Ms. Cregg." She sensed the bow in his manner and nodded for him to continue. He did, "Mr. Danny, we're nearby." 

"Okay, Hector. Go ahead and stop." Danny turned to her, "Don't move." 

She looked like she was about to protest his order so he added, "Please." 

On her nod, he hopped to the opposite seat and handed a bill to Hector. C.J. wondered if it was to pay for parking. No, they'd left the airport behind. She could see dimly lit streets through the tinted windows. 

Her attention drifted back to Danny. For the hundredth time or so, she decided he had a great ass. The view was outstanding because he was kneeling on the seat and waiting for Hector. 

Danny yelled, "Yeah, keep the change and thanks." He turned back into the limousine and offered her a clutch of flowers from a street corner kiosk. 

She locked onto the flowers, "For me?" 

"Yeah, unless you'd rather just look at my butt." 

"It's not that great." 

"Hey, obviously you think so." 

He sank back down in the seat and C.J. nestled into his shoulder. "They're lovely, thank you." She sniffed the Spring bouquet. "You don't always have to buy me flowers." 

"See, that's why I enjoy doing it." He let his fingers trail through her hair. "You're a woman who deserves flowers, it's a mutual admiration society." 

She sighed, "It's hard for me to see myself that way. Oh, I brought you something, it's in my bag that's in the trunk." 

"Typical. You change the subject when it focuses on you. Time to cut yourself some slack." He cuddled her a little closer as a test. "Let things out, let people in." 

C.J. put the flowers next to her and laid a hand on Danny's leg. She felt his taut thigh muscles through the soft and well-worn denim. "I'm still trying to figure out how you got here." 

"I rode with Hector." 

"No, be serious." 

"You figured it out." 

"Carol was sworn to secrecy but she had to be the one to tell you my flight information." 

"I was prepared to camp out here all weekend if necessary. She saved me some trouble because she cares about you." 

"But she told you." 

"No, I told her I was aware. . ." 

". . .after you learned it from Josh." She turned away from Danny to stare out the window. "He swore I could trust him. He was my lawyer." 

"C.J., that's one of the reasons he's not a practicing attorney." 

"He snowed me. I thought we had attorney client privilege." 

"Can't imagine why." 

"I retained him. I gave him a quarter, a New Hampshire one." 

"Well, I bought him a couple of drinks." 

"He's a dead man." 

"He's a good friend and he's been worried about you, Carol too." 

"Danny, I can't think straight and figure out what to do." 

Her hand had not left his leg. He covered her hand with his hand. "Why not start with me?" 

"Maybe." She focused on the glass panel. "Won't this show up on Hector's trip sheet? Do we trust him?" 

"Yes." Danny's tone denoted a guarantee but suspected that wasn't enough for C.J. He pressed the button and called to their driver. "Hector, Ms. Cregg needs some reassurance." 

"Of course." Hector glanced at the rear view mirror to catch C.J.'s eye. "First of all, Ms. Cregg, I consider my limousine to be like a confessional. There is a sacred obligation for total confidentiality." 

"Thank you, that's good enough." 

"No, it's also my debt. Mr. Danny and you were very kind to my daughter. This is a small repayment." 

"Your daughter?" 

Danny answered, "She was a Post intern last year." 

"I remember now. I didn't make the connection. You have a wonderful daughter, Hector. Ina was an asset when she was with us." 

"My Hectorina, Ina spoke highly of you and of course, Mr. Danny helped her with letters of reference." 

C.J. felt a little calmer. "Where is Hectorina now?" 

"She's at a paper in Springfield," Danny answered quickly. 

Hector added, "But she will be going to the Dallas Morning News in a month." 

There was no mistaking the pride in his voice. C.J. had heard it from her own father when he trumpeted the accomplishments of his children. She longed to hear it again but settled for saying, "That's a good place to move ahead on a Pulitzer Prize-winning career path or so I'm told." 

Danny announced, "Give us a head's up when we're closer, Hector." He closed the panel. 

She felt the blue eyes examining her. "I had your flight info C.J. but didn't want an airport scene. I called Hector this afternoon and he was glad to help. It's his company meaning there's no trip sheet." 

"You had my info." 

"Yes, as I told you, it was from Carol. But I already had someone at the airlines keeping an eye out for your name." 

"I keep forgetting what a good reporter you are." 

"Yeah, well, don't." He pulled her into his lap ignoring her weak protests. "You can stretch out for a few more minutes." 

"This is an evasive tactic." 

His hand massaged her arm and his lips feathered kisses over her brow and down her jaw line to her neck. "I've been found out." 

Danny's touch was soothing as C.J. let her eyes drift shut. She wanted to turn her mind off but the day replayed in her mind. She sat up and poked him in the ribs with her elbow. He yelped, "Ouch." 

"You had me bumped up to first class." 

"I'm sure your name recognition did that." 

"Possibly. But there was no one else in first class and no one else upgraded. How did that happen?" 

"Very few people fly into D.C. on a Friday night." 

"That's exactly what the gate agent said." 

Danny stayed silent; C.J. turned his head allowing her to look into his eyes. "Don't tell me, you bought out first class." 

"Not all of it." 

"What?" She was incredulous. 

"Just the seats next to, across from and behind you." 

"Do you know how much that cost plus my upgrade?" 

"Your upgrade was free." She started to sputter and he intervened, "Yes, C.J. I am aware of how much it cost. Luckily, I had a royalty check from the book. I consider it found money." 

"Well, it's lost now." 

"Not to me. To me, it was an investment in your well-being and peace of mind." 

"Oh Danny." She put her head on his shoulder for a moment. "This is why I wanted to handle all this myself." 

Before he could argue that point, Hector slid down the dividing panel. "We're nearly there." 

She peered out the window. "I can see that." 

"Here's the plan, you let me know if it works. Hector will let me off at the service entrance and take you to the front door. I'll meet you at your place to help you with your luggage." 

"I have to buzz you in." 

"It's taken care of for now." 

"How?" She knew the answer as soon as she asked the question. "Mrs. Ellert." 

"Yeah." He felt C.J. slipping away and tried to prevent it, "After that, your call. I can leave you alone once we get the bags in the door." 

"How? You rode in this to get me." 

"My car is in your garage." 

"Mrs. Ellert again?" He nodded. 

Hector's voice called out, "We're here, Mr. Danny." 

C.J. bit her lip. "Well, if I don't take you in, Mrs. Ellert will probably do that too." 

"It has been hard for me to stay faithful. She keeps offering to feed me." 

The limo stopped and C.J. decided, "I'll see you upstairs." 

Danny leaned in to kiss her. He only meant to brush his lips over hers. But C.J. pulled him closer, desperate for his taste. The intensity of it left them both shaken. 

He slipped out of the car contemplating how deep this link with C.J. already went. 


	10. Stepping Up 10

**Stepping Up**

**by:** Lida Rose

**Character(s):** C.J for the most part with others  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Danny  
**Category(s):** A/U, romance   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The West Wing and its characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.  
**Summary:** Just a bit of an alternate universe  
**Author's Note:** Many thanks to LuLu and Evelyn for their efforts to beta and point out the error of my writing ways.   
This is absolutely Alternate Universe but plays off of some items in canon and things I think seem very possible and plausible. 

The next entry in my A/U series that already includes: "One Flu Over The White House","The Politics Of Poetry","The Consequences Of Poetry","Summit Time And The Lovin' Is Easy","The Scoop" 

* * *

C.J. tried yet another time to collect herself and her thoughts as the elevator climbed to her floor. 

She'd add Hector's name to her list of thank you notes. He'd refused a tip for the ride even after carrying her luggage inside. She'd tried once to insist but gave in to his courtly manner and his assertion that further discussion would be an insult. 

Danny. He'd set it up, he'd been there and once again shaken her to the core with the most basic of gestures. Their kiss as he dashed out of the limo stripped away everything but her desire and need for him. 

The elevator door slid open at her floor and he was there. Their eyes locked and he smiled. She offered him a smaller, shy smile in return. C.J. bent to grab her garment bag. 

"I've got it." Danny's hand closed over hers, "Relax, you're home." 

"Thanks." She carried the tote bag and her briefcase. Her door was already open. "Breaking and entering on your list of hobbies?" 

"Nope," he inclined his head down the hall. He raised his voice, "She's back." 

Mrs. Ellert popped her head out the door. "Welcome back, C.J. I grabbed the mail and kept an eye on things. We got you covered." 

"Thank you, Mrs. Ellert." 

"And you tell Carol she did a nice job for a rookie handling the likes of that one." 

"I will." 

"Now, get inside and put your feet up." She twinkled at C.J. and Danny, "or do something else to kick back." 

She shut the door with a click leaving C.J. feeling at loose ends again. Danny put her garment bag inside the apartment and then extended a hand to C.J. 

It was a lifeline for her and she eagerly grabbed it. He pulled her inside and shut her apartment door with his foot. Danny took her other bag and set it aside before folding C.J. into his arms. 

She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his shoulder. The tears came before she could stop them. He heard a quiet sob and tightened his grip on C.J. The man who made his living with words knew when they were futile. He contented himself with small soothing sounds of comfort. 

Time stood still for the lovers as they melted together until C.J.'s shoulders ceased shaking. She raised her tear-stained face to his. "Sorry." 

"No need to be, you're human and you have emotions." 

"I'm not supposed to." She made an effort to wipe the tears from her cheeks. 

"Maybe at work, but never with me." He used a thumb to capture a tear and then kissed his thumb after trapping it. "These shoulders are available any time." 

C.J. touched the damp spot on the shoulder of his blue hooded sweatshirt. "You better be drip dry." 

He pulled the sweatshirt over his head and smiled, "Fresh spot, just for you." 

"I'll keep it in mind. I look awful. I'm sure." 

Danny opened his mouth to protest and she shushed him, "Don't try. I'm not fishing." 

He kissed her fingers where they sealed his lips and he felt the small shiver go through her. "C.J., I'm just glad you're back in my sight. You can never be anything but beautiful to me." 

"Hold that thought." She patted his shoulder. "Thank you for coming to my rescue." 

"I had some friends make it simpler." He looked into her eyes that were red from tears and exhaustion. He wanted nothing more than to sweep her into his arms and take her to bed. But he couldn't be selfish. "Should I kiss you goodnight and get out of your way?" 

C.J. misunderstood saying, "Of course, I'm sure you have things to do." 

"Hey I was being noble." 

"It suits you." 

"That sounds like a backhanded compliment." 

She swayed on her feet, "Don't quote me on anything I say." 

The tiredness in her voice matched what he'd seen in her eyes. "We're so far off the record. I'll put your bags in your bedroom, you can call your brother." 

"What?" He'd startled her back into focus. 

"As I was coming in, he was leaving a message. You left the machine turned up." 

"Okay, thanks." C.J. reached for her phone in her purse and hit a speed dial number. She'd added her family while waiting to board the plane. It felt right. 

Before it rang, Danny tapped her on the shoulder and pointed to her coat. He helped her shrug out of it as she said, "Hey, Drew. I just got in." 

Danny hung up the coat in the closet and grabbed C.J.'s bags. She'd have her privacy while he set up some first-class pampering. 

*** She finished the call to Drew. It had included Gwen and her nephews. The boys were not just happy to have their father back but ecstatic over the goodies C.J. sent along. 

Seems she had goodies of her own and called out, "Danny, did you notice a package that came for me?" 

"Yeah. Mrs. Ellert gave it to me when she let me in this afternoon. I put it on the counter with the rest of the mail." 

"Well, we need to find it. Gwen sent treats." 

"Must be the box that was overnighted." 

"Surprised the aroma didn't give it away." She turned as she heard him come back. "Should I make coffee?" 

They both stopped, stunned at the ease in which they'd slipped into domestic patter. 

Danny cleared his throat, "No, there's other stuff to do first." 

"You're hungry?" 

"C.J., take a break. Tonight, you're the one to be served. I'm going to start a warm bath for you." 

"Don't be an ass, I'm not helpless." 

"No, you're not. But you've had a tough week and it'll be good for you. It'll build your character to be dependent on someone else at least for an evening." 

She gnawed at her lip wondering how he'd react if he was aware how much she'd craved having him nearby during her time in Jefferson City. "I'm glad you're here." 

"My pleasure, I missed you." He said it easily not knowing the words thrilled her. 

"Let me unpack a few things." 

"C.J., it can wait." 

"It can't Danny, you know the bag always has to be ready." She swept by him heading for the bedroom. "I know your bags are in your car, just in case." 

"Busted." He followed her toward the bedroom. "And once you grab the dirty laundry, call your brother in arms and let Josh know you're back." 

"Danny, I'll see him tomorrow." 

"He'll worry tonight until he hears from you." 

"You call him." 

"He won't believe me." 

"Right. You two are as thick as thieves." 

His voice quieted, "C.J., just do it. He's been worried." 

"About me or about me killing him for blabbing to you?" 

"Both." 

She pulled out dirty laundry and returned her suits to the closet. "Danny, I'm tired and don't want a lot of questions. If I call him, I need to call Carol and from there, the list mushrooms." 

"Just Josh and he won't press you. He'll phone Carol and anyone else who needs to be in the loop." 

She shook her head. "Who'd have figured a multimillion dollar communications system in the West Wing also relies on a phone tree to distribute information." 

He watched her leave and moments later grinned when he heard her announce, "Wow, are you stupid." 

*** C.J. wouldn't admit she did feel better after checking in with Josh. He'd been very sweet as he often could be and didn't press her for any details. 

Danny was now digging through his bag. "Your bath is drawn, Madame." 

"Thank you, Jeeves. That will be all for the moment." 

"Yes, ma'am unless you need your back washed." 

"I'll keep you in mind." As she headed for her bathroom she noticed the bed turned down with unfamiliar sheets. They were gray and green striped flannel and looked soft and welcoming. 

She forgot about that for the moment as she entered the master bathroom. Danny had lit candles and she smelled her bath salts. She shed her clothes and slipped into the warm, scented water. 

She felt better but wasn't sure if it was the bath or the man who had seen to it for her. C.J. gave herself a few more minutes in the uninterrupted luxury. She didn't call out for Danny, secretly hoping he would pop in and renew his offer to wash her back. 

Instead, she settled for her back brush from the dollar store. She let the water start to drain out and reached for the towels. She found Kelly green bath sheets on a heated towel rack. But C.J. remembered she didn't own a heated towel rack. She ignored that the moment when found the towels warm to the touch and incredibly plush. Again, the linens weren't hers but first rate. She wrapped a towel around herself and blew out the candles. 

She flicked on the bathroom light and grimaced at her reflection. A few days without her regular grooming routine showed. Her skin was blotchy, her hair dry and there were deep shadows under her eyes. 

There would be time tomorrow for some real beauty first aid. Tonight, it was triage. She crossed into her bedroom and searched for her scented lotion. She'd already found her moisturizer. 

Her trip back into the bathroom halted when she noticed something else on the bed. It was a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt. 

She caressed them lovingly. They were the same clothes Danny had given her to wear when he nursed her through the flu. They weren't just comfortable but comforting. It was typical of him. C.J. smiled as she also grabbed the perfume that matched the lotion. He deserved the extra effort. 

*** Danny was restless waiting for C.J. He double-checked to make sure the front door was locked. He lit another candle and adjusted the fireplace's flame. The stereo was on low and filled with relaxing classical music. 

He wanted to gather her into his arms and carry her to bed to make love. But his needs weren't as paramount as hers. 

"Is your bag by the door?" 

"Yeah." He pivoted toward her voice wondering if was being tossed out. "Why? Oh." 

C.J. placed his clothes on top of his bag in the hallway. She'd decided against his loan of apparel. Instead, she walked toward him wearing a clingy gray robe. "Thank you though. It was a sweet surprise, one of many. I almost think I'm in someone else's apartment." 

She sniffed, "Must be someone else's place, I smell food on top of the candles." 

He shrugged. "Just a little atmosphere and chicken soup from the deli." 

"Danny, I have some food, I think. I'm certain I have sheets and towels." She watched him go into her kitchen when the microwave beeped and continued, "You've used the towels and slept on the sheets that are mine and didn't seem to think they needed replacing." 

"Yeah, I have and I don't. Ow." He forgot the potholder as he pulled out a steaming container of soup. 

"Need the aloe plant?" 

"I can suffer. Silently." He swore and conceded, "Okay, nearly silently." 

"Explanation please, for the stuff that's not mine." She moved to the kitchen doorway to watch him pour soup into a pair of her mugs. In her mind she was glad to see something of hers utilized. 

Danny's movements distracted her. They were smooth and economical. It was the same way he assembled notes and typed his stories. It was the same way he made love and it drove her crazy sometimes to see those fingers at work on something other than her. 

He caught her looking at his hands and smiled smugly. "Uh, C.J., focus. It's like the soup; it's all about comfort. You should have fresh sheets and towels to lose yourself in on your first night back." 

"Sorry?" 

"Had no idea if you'd changed the sheets before you left and I figured flannel was required." 

"Like ratty pajamas when you're sick?" He'd reminded her of that comfort factor when she had the flu and offered his own broken in sleepwear when she couldn't come up with ratty nightclothes. 

"Exactly." He eased near her at the entrance. "Table or couch?" 

"The fire's lit along with the candles. I say the couch." She looked wistfully at the mugs. "Deli, huh?" 

"Sure. Their chicken soup is almost as good as the stuff from the White House chef." 

"Great for when I had the flu." 

"Well I also know when your plate is full in life, you eat light." 

She settled in the center of the couch and took a mug. "You're too damn observant." She sipped the soup. "It's good but I've been eating light all week in self defense." 

"I see." 

C.J. gave him a quick smile. "I'd love something a little more substantial to chew on." He noticed she punctuated her words with a hungry, sweeping gaze over him. 

"We might be able to satisfy that in one of several ways." Danny leaned in and kissed her on the nose. "For a start, I also grabbed a corned beef sandwich and a roast beef sandwich." 

"Actual red meat?" 

"Back in a flash." He bolted over the back of the couch nearly making her spill the soup and absolutely making her laugh for one of the few times in the last couple of days. 

*** Danny dug the sandwiches out of the refrigerator glad he'd ordered them on impulse. He wanted C.J. to relax and have everything she craved on their first night back together. Everything. 

She seemed to be unwinding. "Hey, C.J., half and half?" 

"Quarter and quarter to start." 

"All right." 

She called back, "For me, Fishboy not you." 

Danny found a tray to use for the plates and returned to her. She smiled up at him, "Going to leap again?" 

"No, after dinner I'll fall at your feet without a tray of food." 

They were silent as they mixed soup and sandwiches. C.J. felt another layer of tension seeping away. It had chipped off when she found Danny in the limo. More dissolved in the ministrations of the bath Danny set up. He could comfort her as no one else ever had. 

"Tell me how you did it?" 

"I went to the deli and took a number." He stopped teasing when he saw her face. "Carol gave me the flight information. I called my airline friend and Hector." He took another bite of the roast beef sandwich. "I got a hold of Mrs. Ellert and asked her to get me in to check the state of your place." 

"That all makes sense." She'd managed the food and it felt good to be hungry. She put her back to the couch's armrest and stretched her feet allowing her toes to curl against Danny's jeans. 

She snapped her fingers. "Your friend bumped my brother up. Drew told me he was in first class. He thought it was a great way to fly." 

Danny's jeans were well worn and thin enough for her to feel the hard muscles of his thighs. "Foot rub?" He asked swallowing hard without any food in his mouth. 

"Go ahead and finish eating first. Plus, give me the rest of the story." 

"I calculated and there wasn't enough time for me to do the laundry. I didn't want to dump it on Mrs. Ellert so I raided my linen closet." 

"That means the sheets will smell like you." 

Danny looked insulted, "They're clean." 

"Man, you're sensitive there Susie Homemaker. I meant it positively." 

"Not just me. Mrs. Ellert is Betty Crocker, she contributed the heated towel rack." 

"Nice touch. I suppose I have to return it." 

"I'll buy you one." 

"You've spent enough money foolishly." Her toes moved a little higher up on his thigh. "Two heated towel racks on me." 

"If you insist." The feel of her feet warmed his blood. "Let me clear the dishes." 

"I can do it." 

"Just stay put." He stacked the dishes and went off. "Lemon bars?" 

"Good idea. You'll think you've died and gone to heaven. Gwen has a gift. We can split one." 

Danny came back in with the replenished tray. "You're dreaming. How about I eat one and split one for you? I can eat your other half too." 

"I don't smell coffee." 

"Went with that herbal tea. We're both wound enough." 

"You must have picked up Drew's thought waves concerning me and caffeine." C.J. stayed perpendicular to Danny on the couch to watch him take a bite of Gwen's Lemon Bars. She saw bliss. "I told you." 

"Let me get this right, is she happily married to your brother?" 

"Amazingly so." 

"Too bad, but easy to see why." He reached over to rub one of her feet. "Do you have the recipe?" 

C.J. laughed, "I never asked, I just assumed she'd make them for me." 

The foot massage pulled more stress out of her. She gave Danny more access and the movement left a longer stretch of skin exposed. 

She saw his eyes travel over leg. "Danny, I love the sweater and these soft, sexy old jeans but you're overdressed." 

"Not for this duty." 

"Okay." C.J. let him finish the Lemon Bars and let herself float a bit as he worked his fingers over her arches. 

If they went to bed she could lose herself in the release of sex and forestall the questions she could imagine forming in his mind. Her eyes flew open to find him silently watching her. 

He saw awareness creep into her eyes. Danny let his hands fall to his lap. 

In a weary voice she asked, "How much do you know?" 

Before he could answer she gasped, "One more thing just connected. Rina Moldonado is a reporter in Springfield, Missouri. You used her to get the story, you know all of it." 

He opened his arms to her. "Yes. But how much do YOU want me to know?" 


	11. Stepping Up 11

**Stepping Up**

**by:** Lida Rose

**Character(s):** C.J for the most part with others  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Danny  
**Category(s):** A/U, romance   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The West Wing and its characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.  
**Summary:** Just a bit of an alternate universe  
**Author's Note:** Many thanks to LuLu and Evelyn for their efforts to beta and point out the error of my writing ways.   
This is absolutely Alternate Universe but plays off of some items in canon and things I think seem very possible and plausible. 

The next entry in my A/U series that already includes: "One Flu Over The White House","The Politics Of Poetry","The Consequences Of Poetry","Summit Time And The Lovin' Is Easy","The Scoop" 

* * *

Danny waited silently with his arms outstretched. His eyes told C.J. he wouldn't push or judge, he'd understand and he could be trusted. The deep emotion darkened his blue eyes. 

She warred with herself. If she turned to him and opened her heart, C.J. was setting herself up for possible betrayal and hurt. If she trusted him, he'd want - what would he want from her? 

Inspiration offered her a diversion. She sprang up from the couch, "I didn't give you your present." 

He let his arms drop and struggled to stifle his disappointment. Danny accepted that C.J. was a cautious woman especially with her heart. There had been layers of heartbreak in her life. It was obvious because she turned skittish every time true intimacy was called for between them. 

C.J. bit her lip as she dropped the airport souvenir shop bag in his lap. She was nervous about his reaction to the silly little token. He brought out the official Major League Baseball St. Louis Cardinals cap. He nodded to her as a wide small split his face when he put it on. "Perfect, thank you." 

She straightened the brim. "Red hat on red hair may not be the best but I guess it has to be official. The initials for the city make sense on the authorized cap but I think the cardinal on the bat logo is cleverer. Plus, that hat is black with a red brim." 

"That's the alternate cap. Besides, red hat on red hair worked for Mark McGwire." He tugged the cap off and to C.J.'s horror bent the bill sharply at the center. "I've been told I resemble him." 

"You'll break it and oh yeah, huge resemblance." 

"You have to if you're going to get the perfect crease." He replaced it. "Better. And why are you mocking the obvious similarities." 

"Danny, he's cute." She leaned over to knock the hat off. "And you, you're, you're good looking. You aren't too bulky and you're here, he's not." 

"Better answer." He kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Thank you for the hat and for thinking of me." 

She took a deep breath and leaped into fearful territory, the world of trust. "I thought of you a lot. It helped me handle things. It was one of the things I hung onto every minute." 

He inched closer to her and tentatively took her hand. She'd taken a big step; he'd counter with a small one to keep her from shying away. Danny let his thumb stroke over her hand to the cuff of the robe. "This is soft and really pretty. I haven't seen it." 

"Cashmere like the turtle neck you're wearing." She let her hand cover his as it caressed the robe and her wrist. "I don't wear it much, it's the last thing Collin gave me. He loved to splurge on himself and the people he loved." 

"He has good taste and I can see why you cherish it." 

She couldn't say why but it pleased her that he'd used the present tense when talking about her long dead brother. "That's part of it. I tend to save things for good. Made Collin crazy." 

"You should always be good to yourself." 

"Especially when there are no guarantees you'll be around to enjoy 'good' when the time comes." C.J glanced at their joined hands. "You're the good stuff." 

"We are." He took a deep breath, "Tell me about the Cregg kids especially Collin." 

"Collin James was the baby. But we were all close in age, about 2 1/2 years on either side. I'm the middle child." 

"I'm the baby." Danny figured sharing information might help. "I have an older sister, larger gap than in your family." 

"Are you close to your sister?" 

"Not terribly. Too many years and too different in personality. Still, she's my sister." He shrugged. 

"We were a unit, stayed close over the years." She unconsciously squeezed Danny's hand harder. "After Mom died I tried to also mother Collin some. He'd allow it and then laugh at me." 

"Were you still home?" 

"For a short time. I put off college for a semester. Mom died the summer after High School graduation." 

"I'm sorry. I lost my folks when I was an adult but it doesn't make it any easier." 

"You're right." She leaned in to kiss him; grateful he wasn't expecting her to do all the revealing. "College took the Cregg kids in different directions but we stayed close with letters and reunions on breaks." 

Danny gambled by closing the distance to C.J. and wrapping an arm around her. She didn't retreat but turned to him in the candlelight. "You almost had competition for your Pulitzer." 

"A Cregg as a humble scribe?" 

"Collin went to the University of Missouri planning to major in Journalism. He liked the action and drama." 

"Day to day, he would been disappointed because it can be a lot of drudgery." 

"Nothing ever made him feel let down for long. He had this zest for life and challenges." 

"Family trait." 

"Probably. Drew is the quietest and the steadiest. He takes being the oldest and a big brother to heart." 

"Taking things to heart? Another Cregg family trait." 

"Middle child syndrome, I absorb it all." She looked at him adoringly, "You have the same analytical mind Collin did. He changed direction when a news writing assignment took him to court and that was it." 

"No more crusading reporter? Sounds like our loss." 

"Collin decided that a courthouse provided the best, free public theater and he could star in it." She reached for the tea. "He graduated with a double major in English and History. For his next trick, he aced everything at Washington University's Law School." 

"Sounds intimidating." 

"It does but never his nature. He was such a gentle soul, taller than anyone else in the family." She paused and looked at Danny, "And he was gay." 

"Was that hard for you, for all of you?" 

"Collin worried about that too. No, after he told us, it was while he was in law school, everything clicked into place." 

"Your Dad and your brother accepted him." When C.J. didn't contradict the statement he knew she came from remarkable people. It made Danny anxious to meet Drew and sorry C.J.'s father was gone. 

"We all worried about AIDS and prejudice." 

"I understand better why you wondered about Jonathan Lydell and his feelings toward Lowell." 

"I told you it eluded me and you understood." 

"Yeah, I did." 

"You knew then? You're so calm about it now." 

"It was obvious someone in your life was gay and there'd been trauma tempered by love and understanding." He fixed strong eyes on her, "Did you think I'd turn away from you because Collin was gay?" 

"People do. There were some VFW buddies of my father's. They made some ignorant cracks and Daddy told them Collin was still his son, still the same fine person he'd always been that made a parent proud. Then, Daddy quit the post and those friends." 

"Naturally." 

"It can't be that easy for a parent, however he lived what he taught us." She gulped back tears, "Collin knew that." 

"No greater gift after love than acceptance." 

C.J. regretted not giving Danny her family history earlier. She looked at his face and found nothing but compassion. He was trying to be there for her. "Love couldn't save my brother." 

"No, hate and ignorance can be just as powerful unfortunately. That's not your fault." 

"It was a hate crime." She turned her knuckles white clenching Danny's hand. "But that term wasn't commonly used for violence against gays in those days." 

His nod clued her in to the fact that he had all the grisly details. "C.J., the hate crimes legislation is part of your legacy for Collin along with the Bartlet White House. You should be proud of that." 

"You were right though. You can't legislate thoughts. We'd do better educating the ignorant to prevent hate crimes." 

"Next term." 

"I don't want to fight that battle again." 

"You have some breathing room when it comes to Collin's killer." 

"Wouldn't even be a factor if the Missouri Revised Code had been enacted a few years earlier." 

"How so?" 

"Today a life sentence means just that. No chance of parole." 

"It had to be brutal." 

It all came crashing back on her and suddenly C.J. didn't want to relive it snapping, "Ina Moldonado gave you the dirt." 

"No, she didn't. She offered to make the trip but stayed outside. She was never in the hearing and didn't see any reporters there. Did any try and talk to you or Drew?" 

C.J. shook her head but continued to feel pushed. "So you want me to tell you how it turned out." 

"Not necessary." 

"Star reporter and protégé connected, eh?" She didn't know why but Danny's kindness was making her feel scared and closed in. 

He heard the note of bitterness in her voice and it made him blanch. She wanted to push him away. "C.J., it wasn't the star reporter fishing for a story. I was worried about you. You just disappeared yet I heard from you. Foolishly, I thought you needed me and wanted to let me deeper into your life." 

"It's my fight, my family." She said the words with quiet insistence. 

"Fair enough." He started to rise. 

"Where are you going?" 

"I'm not going to be accused of prying or intruding anymore." 

"Danny." 

He leaned down and kissed her tenderly on the forehead. "I'm glad you're home. Get some sleep." 

She grabbed desperately for his hands. "I can't believe you're angry with me." 

"Not really angry C.J., hurt and disappointed that you didn't trust me with anything but crumbs. I was out of my mind with worry." 

"Don't go." 

"What?" 

"Don't go. I want you to stay. I want you here." 

It was his turn to war with indecision. Danny didn't want to abandon her but he wouldn't pretend her reticence didn't bother him. 

"I couldn't tell anyone Danny. I didn't want anyone connecting Collin to C.J. Cregg. For that, I'm Collin Cregg's sister or Claudia or Claudia Jean. C.J. stays in the shadows as much as possible for him and for justice." 

"There's no way I'd compromise you when it comes to your family. I just wanted to help if I could." His concern won out over his wounded ego and he dropped back next to her. 

"If I'd told you. . ." 

". . .I'd have offered to go with you." 

"That would have been a scene." 

"No one would have recognized me there, unless they thought I was Mark McGwire." She snorted and he continued, "If it was an issue, I'd have stayed in the hallway or the hotel or the car to make sure I was there for you." 

"You were there. I took along the bear. That Teddy did its best." 

"You thought of me." 

"I already said that." 

"Humor me." 

"More than I figured on, more than I was comfortable with." C.J. closed the distance between them on the couch. "The proof is how often I called. I just needed to hear your voice." 

She laid her head on his shoulder and her hand on his chest. His heartbeat steadied her. Danny circled his arm around her. "It may have comforted you but it drove me insane. Carol and Josh held their ground." 

"I didn't tell Leo." She sighed, "Josh insisted on knowing, Carol was a given. They probably are all in on it now." 

"Safe bet with all those agencies at their disposal including Transportation, Justice and Treasury. However, because they care about you, they observed from a distance like I did. Your stubborn insistence or misplaced independence is well documented." 

"Can't decide if that's a compliment or condemnation." 

"Pick one." 

She clutched his shirt and murmured softly, "I'm sorry I worried you." 

"It's a start." 

"When did you put it all together?" 

"Wednesday night. After you called and then hung up. I went nuts." 

She confessed, "I didn't expect to get you. I had a time blip and you weren't in a Briefing. 'Feed Gail' was the next best thing to hanging up." 

"I bullied Carol into unlocking your office. At least I could say goodnight to Gail but the vibes were off in there." 

"What do you mean?" 

"It was your desk." 

"It was neat." 

"Too neat but that wasn't it. I visualized it in my head with you sitting behind it and suddenly saw the picture was missing." 

"I took it with me because it speaks volumes about our family bond." 

"It spoke to me too. I staked out Josh and took him out for drinks until he clued me in." It was Danny's turn to sigh. "He made me swear I wouldn't book a flight once I had the facts." 

"Drew had that photo too and its mirror image from years later with him. He used them when he spoke to the Parole Board." 

She raised her head, "Danny, he was amazing. So eloquent and yet so forceful when he talked. It was effective and then Gruber and his attorney tried to bring it crashing down." 

"It ended fine. We can leave it at that C.J. if you want." 

She blew out a deep breath. "No, that's not good enough for you." 

He was humbled, "Thank you, C.J." 

"The defense attorney claimed Drew was parroting a professionally written speech from a White House speech writer. All part of some grand plan orchestrated by C.J. Cregg with the blessing of the Bartlet White House." 

"A total crock, it would never be about anything but your brother." 

"Now, my turn to express gratitude." 

"Besides, you wouldn't need a White House speech writer, you have a room full of Fourth Estate experts including a Pulitzer Prize winner." 

"Not the point." 

He let his lips kiss her gently. "I just like to pound that into your head as much as possible." Danny settled back and let his hand wander to C.J.'s hair. "The Parole Board obviously didn't buy it." 

"We came up with something else that trumped the defense. He had a new tattoo spouting the same Aryan crap." 

"No one at the prison paid attention?" 

"One more failing in this process. You may have noticed I left abruptly." 

"Does ring a bell." 

"The law is for thirty days advance notice to victims of a parole hearing." 

"You and your brother put it together in thirty minutes." 

"Felt more like thirty seconds." 

"Why was it so rushed?" 

"We've both moved since the last Parole hearing. They didn't know where to find us." 

"Someone claimed they couldn't locate you and said it with a straight face?" 

"Welcome to this chapter of my twilight zone." 

"God, on top of everything else, bureaucratic bull." His hands roamed lightly over her as if to rub away the obstacles she'd faced. "C.J., I didn't see any mention of the White House Press Secretary assaulting anyone like a district attorney." 

"It crossed my mind but he's a good prosecutor. And he had a backup plan." 

"No way it would have been as strong as Collin's siblings being there. I used to cover trials. It makes an impact on juries and the courts when you see the victims matter to someone. They become more real." 

"Drew did that when he spoke." She shifted to slither lengthwise onto Danny's lap. "This is what I've missed." 

"Me too." He kissed the top of her head. "I have a confession to make before you tell me the rest." Danny added hastily, "Or you can just let it go." 

Exhaustion was settling over her, yet Danny's offer of a confession piqued her curiosity. She yawned, "Let's hear the confession." 

He groaned, "Okay. Here it is. I was alone when you called on Thursday night. There was no meeting, no Briefing, nothing but a soggy salad taking up my time." 

"It's fine. I can understand why you'd be pissed at me." 

"Don't be ridiculous. I was furious with myself because I couldn't tell you that I wanted to help, to be there for you. I let you down." 

"Never." She snuggled deeper into the cradle of his arms. "If you'd been empathetic I'd have broken down and probably begged you to get on a plane." 

"Done." 

"Thanks." C.J. moved her hand over the one Danny clasped at her waist. "Drew propped me up and I was reminded of how important family is in life, even in my life." 

"Good reminder." He added, "And you were successful with the Parole Board." 

"I overcame another bureaucratic blunder. Collin's murderer made this statement saying he had changed. See, it was Collin's fault he was killed." 

"Left over trial tripe." 

"Yeah and it still burns. The argument is that this psychopath freaked because Collin touched him and being gay meant automatically infecting people with AIDS. In a twisted way it was self-defense." 

"Not much to base parole on." 

"Now, with education and the knowledge of what causes AIDS he's ready to contribute. Now, he's able to see the error of his misspent youth." 

"Where's the but?" 

"You're so smart." 

"Just a reflection of the woman in my life." 

"The woman in your life noticed the new tattoo on his arm. I called it to the attention of the esteemed D.A. and he tracked it down through the original arrest sheet and prison records." 

"I take it the killer embellished himself with something inflammatory and in keeping with a dung beetle's perspective." 

"Yes, Neo Nazi standard issue." 

Danny squeezed her harder, "Good for you for fighting back." 

"No choice." 

"There's always a choice, C.J. Collin made the choice that night to protect someone else and do what was right." 

"The backup plan is the good that came out of the crime." She shuddered, "God, how can I say there's anything good?" 

"You aren't. But something helped you deal with this." 

"I mentioned a backup plan before I got sidetracked. Alfio Monaco. . ." 

"Wait, that's a real name?" 

"Yep. And someday he wants it to be a household name. He's a diminutive man with outsized aspirations." 

"We'll leave Alfio's aspirations alone for a moment. I'm sorry I diverted you." 

"He had a letter and a promise from the woman Collin saved." 

"That must have been gratifying." 

She nodded and continued, "The promise was she'd fly in for the hearing if need be, the letter was the first step." C.J. let a note of pride warm her voice. "Danny, she became a lawyer because of Collin and has dedicated her professional life to helping. She is an attorney with the Southern Poverty Law Center. It's exactly the kind of work Collin would have pursued." 

"That's lasting. C.J., Collin's life was too short but not wasted." 

"I'm grateful to you for saying that and for understanding." She roused herself to kiss him tenderly. 

He settled her back in his arms. 

*** They'd both dozed off. Danny's head dropped towards his chest and he woke with a start. The movement unsettled C.J. who whispered, "Bedtime." 

She kissed his cheek and rubbed her chin over his beard before getting up. He watched her stumble sleepily down the hall. Danny blew out the candles. The tiredness was evident in her voice and Danny figured she needed a night of undisturbed sleep most. 

He eyed the dishes and wished for maid service. When none appeared he heaved himself off the couch and cleaned up. Danny set the timer on the coffee pot positive that C.J. would be going to work in the morning even though she wasn't expected. 

*** Fifteen minutes later, Danny was in the doorway of her bedroom. It took him back to the first night he'd stood there a few months earlier. She'd been struck down by the flu and he brought her home to tend to her. 

Like that night, she'd fallen into the deep sleep of exhaustion. He had wondered then what it would be like to share that bed with her as a lover. He'd hoped they'd find out. 

The reality was better than the wondering. Tonight, C.J. needed a different kind of love. It was the variation comprised of understanding and patience. He'd let her sleep putting aside the physical ache for one more night to ensure her heart and soul were rejuvenated with her body. 

She sighed and in her sleep turned inward to face the center of the bed where Danny usually slept. He crept in and covered her more securely by tucking his flannel sheets in around her. He noticed she'd crawled in wearing the robe that had been Collin's last gift. 

Danny decided the couch would serve him well like it had in flu season. He stripped off his sweater and jeans on his way to the living room. They'd see how things looked in the light of day. He wished C.J. would consider another day off but predicted chances of that were about the same as C.J. becoming a Republican. 


	12. Stepping Up 12

**Stepping Up**

**by:** Lida Rose

**Character(s):** C.J for the most part with others  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Danny  
**Category(s):** A/U, romance   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** The West Wing and its characters are the property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.  
**Summary:** Just a bit of an alternate universe  
**Author's Note:** Many thanks to LuLu and Evelyn for their efforts to beta and point out the error of my writing ways.   
This is absolutely Alternate Universe but plays off of some items in canon and things I think seem very possible and plausible. 

The next entry in my A/U series that already includes: "One Flu Over The White House","The Politics Of Poetry","The Consequences Of Poetry","Summit Time And The Lovin' Is Easy","The Scoop" 

* * *

A scream shattered the nighttime silence in C.J.'s apartment. Another followed and Danny was racing to her bedroom. He reached the doorway and heard her call out in a frightened, tiny voice, "Danny?" 

"I'm here." He climbed onto the bed and reached for her. "Come on darling, wake up." 

He pulled C.J. to him. She was shaking and Danny cursed himself for leaving her alone. She tightened her grip on him, "Okay, reality checklist, please. I'm awake." 

"Check." 

"I'm in my bed." 

"Check." 

"You're really here and you're holding me." 

"Check and double check." 

Danny leaned back and smoothed her hair off her face. Her robe had loosened and he tried to bundle it around her to stop C.J.'s shivering. 

She stopped him, "Give me your shirt." 

"Huh?" 

"Your shirt, off with it." She dropped the robe from her shoulders and held out her hand. 

Danny was confused but complied. "Let me find another blanket." He watched her pull his white t-shirt on. 

"This'll do. It's warm from you and smells like you just like your sheets here." She gave him a wan smile. "Did I wake the whole building or only this floor?" 

"No pounding from concerned neighbors so looks like just us." 

"Danny, you weren't in the bed." 

He settled himself across from her and took both of her hands as he faced her. "I'm truly sorry for that. I idiotically thought since you were exhausted you should sleep alone to have a better chance of sleeping through the night." 

"That theory is shot to hell." She swung their hands in a small arc. "Serves me right for not being more demanding." 

"I'm here now and not going anywhere." Danny leaned in to nuzzle her lips. "Tell me about your bad dream." 

"Dream? No, Danny, it's a full-blown nightmare. I should have known it wasn't done with me." 

"Talk about it and maybe it will help." 

Her hands unconsciously tightened on his. "It's always the same thing. I had it during Collin's trial. I had it in conjunction with the first parole hearing and it came back Tuesday night." 

"I need to be closer to you." Danny crawled to the headboard and dived under the covers. He circled his arms around C.J. and pulled her down to his shoulder. 

She let her hand fan out across his chest. "You're a much more satisfying hunk of red hair to glom onto than your surrogate." 

"My surrogate?" 

"The Teddy Bear, remember I took it with me?" 

He was oddly pleased that she'd dragged along the russet-colored piece of plush. "I'll give it lessons." 

"I slept with it." 

"You're forgiven." 

"I cried on it too when I went through my file about Collin's murder, when I woke up scared and when I missed you." 

"Grab tighter and hold on because I'm the authentic thing and we're together now." 

She let the secure feeling wash over her. Danny didn't rush her and C.J. found she wanted to talk. "The dream is always the same. We're in court watching the trial and Gruber is sitting at the defense table." 

Danny stroked her shoulder trying to encourage her. C.J. continued, "It's daylight outside but things start dimming. I'm alone in the front row of benches. The lawyers on both sides approach the judge and his bench drifts further away." 

C.J. burrowed into Danny's chest. "Gruber turns around and looks at me. The day goes dark outside the courtroom windows and I'm all alone except for him. His eyes bore into me and I can't move. Then, he jumps up and comes at me. I can't scream. I can't move. I can't do anything." 

"What about the others?" Danny asked softly. 

"They react once he's close to me but they're too far away. Then, I wake up." 

"Always screaming?" 

"No, that's an occasional bonus." She clinched Danny tighter; "I probably would have kicked you so it's a good thing you weren't here." 

"I can take it. I should have been in bed with you." He continued gentle caresses on her body. "May I ask you a question, C.J.?" 

"Okay." 

"Does he ever catch you?" 

She had to think about that. "No, his eyes haunt me but I never feel his hands, just those eyes." C.J. buried her head on Danny. "I hate feeling weak as much as I hate that nightmare." 

"Easy to figure out why he never succeeds. You triumph because in reality you aren't helpless or passive. You got the bastard and you won't give up." 

"Makes sense but it's still frightening." 

"I'll be here to help chase it away." 

C.J. propped herself up to look in his eyes. "I appreciate it and you." She kissed him, "Yeah, you are far superior to the bear." 

"You're too kind." 

She brought her lips to his and began to reacquaint herself with his mouth and jaw. Things didn't escalate the way they normally did but Danny's grip on her never wavered. She whispered, "Danny, don't you want me?" 

He heard hurt and doubt in her voice and realized extraordinary care was required. Danny placed his hands on either side of her face. "I want you so much I can't think straight. I haven't slept through the night since you've been gone because I couldn't kiss you." 

"But tonight . . ." 

"C.J., I wanted to make love to you in the back of the limo, in the elevator and in every room of this apartment. And that's only tonight." 

"You've controlled yourself well." 

"Because I want more than your body. I want all of you." 

"Oh." She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. She felt the reassuring beat of his heart. C.J. had guarded her own heart and emotions even more than she'd protected her privacy. It was difficult for her to open herself up that way to someone else. 

This was a man who would demand everything and more. In return, C.J. was certain she'd be rewarded with everything and more from Danny. He was the kind of man she dreamed about and had despaired of ever finding. 

But she needed to be honest. "Danny, I'm not sure I can be what you have to have." 

"I haven't asked you to change." 

"You're asking me to share and to trust you." She heard his heart pound faster under her. 

"No, I hope you'll learn you can trust me." He paused, "It's why I didn't get on a plane the minute I noticed the picture missing or when I squeezed the truth out of Josh." 

"There's baggage that comes with me." 

"Me too. We're not kids, C.J. We have pasts and that doesn't have to be a liability. I believe we've learned lessons from them and it only helps this relationship." 

It was her heart's turn to beat faster. "So you've decided this is a relationship." 

"Not a traditional one to be sure. We haven't done dozens of dates where we learn about each other's pasts. You can look at my FBI file and I can read your bio or check your Who's Who listing." 

"You have a Who's Who listing too." 

"Good to know." He kissed her hair. "We're overachievers who jumped right into this thing." 

She pushed the hair off his face and looked deep into his eyes marveling at the satisfaction 'this thing' had already brought her. 

Danny was on her wavelength; "It's not all sex, C.J. It's more than that for both of us." 

"You're right, Danny. I'm sure if I ask, you'll do nothing but hold me all night long or let me sleep alone to recharge my batteries. You'll put your desires aside." 

His tone was ragged. "I'm no saint, I've told you that before. I can put my needs aside reluctantly but not for long. You're in my blood." He reconsidered his words, "For tonight then, my desires are as simple as being grateful you are back and hearing you say you missed me." 

"I've let you deeper into my life than anyone in a long time." C.J. stroked his chest, "And you haven't run away." 

"A little tough to flee in only my boxer shorts." 

"Guess I could return your shirt." She sat up and tugged it off. 

"I don't want you cold, C.J." 

She tossed the shirt in the corner. "Then, I suppose you better do something about it." 

Danny was torn between passion and duty. "C.J., I don't expect . . ." 

"No, you don't and you don't demand." She sidled closer to kiss him as bare skin met bare skin. "I may not be able to be all the things you expect and need . . ." 

"You're everything, C.J." 

"Danny, you have to believe me when I say this, we're in a good place." 

"I can take you to a better one." He eased her onto her back as he eased out of bed. 

"Are you calling a cab?" 

"No. I'm shutting off the lights and sending my boxers to hook up with my t-shirt. It seems lonely." 

"I'm lonely." 

"Only for a minute." He stripped the covers away from her and replaced them with his body. "You don't have to worry about being lonely or alone. I'm here." 

Her sigh was the answer he'd been wishing for. It was his signal to make love to C.J. offering her not just pleasure and tenderness but a respite from the days of horror and fear. 

When the passion was spent between them, C.J. cried in Danny's arms. They were more than tears of sadness. They were the simple release from being offered understanding, compassion and love. She couldn't accept the idea of love yet but she sensed it taking hold. 

** They were in that sweet post-orgasm twilight of half awake and half asleep. C.J. murmured as she snuggled in Danny's arms, "I'm as happy as the Missouri State Bird." 

"Bird?" he tried to figure out if he was dreaming or she was talking in her sleep. 

"It's the Bluebird and the State Flower is the Hawthorne. I studied the pamphlet in the hotel." 

He rubbed his beard lightly on her shoulder. "That'll show me. You are current on your trivia about the Show Me State. It's number 24 in the Union." 

"The song is the Missouri Waltz and the motto is 'Salus Populi Suprema Con Esto'." 

"Is this what other couples talk about after making love?" 

"How would I know? It means the welfare of the people shall be the supreme law." 

Danny tugged her closer. "You and Drew lived up to that like Collin did." 

"Thank you." She was nearly asleep but not afraid of nightmares in Danny's arms." I have to go in tomorrow." 

"Never doubted it for a minute." 

"Before that, I have to do a masque on my face for all the blotches, deep condition my dry hair, work out, make us breakfast and . . ." 

"Could we please make love somewhere in all that?" 

"Count on it." She turned her head to kiss him. "I'll take you to dinner tomorrow night before I bring you back here and have my way with you some more." 

"Invite Mrs. Ellert to go to dinner with us." He was fighting to stay awake until C.J. was out. "I can have a beautiful woman on each arm as I walk into the restaurant." 

"I'm very glad you're in my life." She nestled deeper under the covers and in the shelter of his arms. Secure there, she allowed herself to drift off. 

** It was daylight and she was outside. Collin turned and smiled at her. He was a grown man in the backyard of their childhood home. His face was beautiful without a mark marring it. 

C.J. stretched out to touch him but he shook his head. She heard him say he was fine and she shouldn't worry. 

She extended her hand once more to make contact with him. Before she could, he was gone. Collin's voice echoed in her head, "You're allowed to be happy. I want that for you. You have everything to make you happy around you. Let yourself love and be loved. We're all fine here." 

She startled herself out of the dream and instinctively her arms thrashed around as she called out, "Danny?" 

She realized after a frantic second that his arms still held her. He stirred enough to kiss her whispering, "I'm right here. I'm not leaving you. We're fine." 

C.J. found that his whispered promise and gentle breathing were enough to lull her back to sleep. 


End file.
